Very scary dream premonition: Please help?

[Aphrodite]

I've been on a 'getting to know you basis' with an aquaintance from middle school (let's call him Greg) for a while now but Right now we're going steady.

I think had a premonition about Greg trying to do something bad to me in a dream premonition a few months ago (when we were first talking) In the dream I had a guy (he looked, and spoke like Greg, even though I couldn't see his face in the dream) that threatened to hurt me if I ever 'left him'. The dream took place in the future (I was in college) and I tried running from him, even though he said he could 'find me'. In the last part of the dream I was hiding in a little storage room with a window (after running through a million apartment complexes so he wouldn't find me) and some how managed to find me. The dream ended with me closing my eyes shut and standing still, while he stood in front of the door. When I woke up I was terrified and I thought I was still in the dream. So I sat there for a minute basically on the edge of crying.
I have dream premonitions that are VERY accurate and I choose not to ignore them, but this one is tricky...and I have a bad feeling about it.

See, Greg has a lot of issues... ( I found this out AFTER I had the dream) he is very jealous, he has bi-polar disorder and anger issues, and he seems sort of clingy in a way... Like too attached to the girls he pursues. He says his reason for being jealous was because he was afraid to lose the person he 'loves'... he already says he loves me..( this is 3 months after the dream)

BUT, I really do care about him, and we're kind of helping eachother with this long term goal we have in mind. He's very protective of me, and sweet, and he's inspired me to do what I want in life even if it seems crazy..

Was my premonition about Greg or am I mistaken ? ( or just paranoid ?)

Please help I'm very confused and I'd love to have a little more insight on this..

 

[AlanBorky]

No, Aphrodite, your analysis seems spot on.

At the moment your relationship with him is okay, but everything he's told you about himself might've seemed like a form of openness but it was actually a form of manipulation, laying down ground rules about how he's likely to behave if you dare step out of line, so when you finally do he can say, now didn't I tell you what I'm like, you knew from the beginning, I did warn you, blah, blah, blah.

This doesn't mean he's a bad person, but it does mean he's a dangerous person, (and based on two specific relatives of my own, it's quite likely he'll turn into wife beater material, the first time saying, oh my god, I don't know why I did that, it'll never happen again; the second time, that was your fault, you know what I'm like yet you still riled me; then after that, you asked for that).

But since you do seem to care for him, and if you want to avoid things getting out of hand and developing along those lines, you need to now start establishing your credentials with him, by putting your foot down about what you will and won't put up with.

Think of a carefully chosen safety word - like the ones submissives use in bondage sessions to warns their dominants they're getting too carried so must immediately stop - and use it to slam on the brakes every time he's getting a bit too much.

If the thought of how he'll react if you bring this up with him even slightly alarms you that alone should be a warning to you.

If you do bring it up with him and he starts getting agitated - GOOD! - because that right there's your evidence of him being dangerously capable of getting out of hand, so make sure you point it out to him.

It's all very well saying he's sweet and protective and encourages you in your dreams but try telling him your dreams involve you having to hang out a bit more with some other guy for some reason and then see how sweet and 'protective' he becomes.

Whether he knows it or not he's a BULLY and he's training you to keep in line using the 'good cop/bad cop' routine.

This doesn't mean the relationship can't work - but it has to work on YOUR TERMS, not his, where you have to constantly monitor everything you do or say so as not to upset him or hurt his feelings.

For both your sakes, NIP IT IN THE BUD - NOW!