What are some good Chuck Norris and dead baby jokes?

Here's some Chuck Norris jokes:

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.

Chuck Norris dosen't breath, he holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris doesn't need Twitter, He's already following you.

Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as ''You Know Who.''

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd - No one fools with Chuck Norris.

When children go to sleep, they look under their bed for the Boogeyman. But when the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies............... As The Force.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
 
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a rattlesnake. Whithin 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake was dead.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't f*ck my sandwich before I eat it.
 
under chuck norris' beard is another fist.
how do you make a dead baby? -Pretty little "candies"
why did chuck norris cross the road? -He couldn't, the road kept moving away from him in fear
 
that's not even funny, I happen to have a baby, and I don't like questions like that...(Wat and jerk)
 
whats the difference between a dead baby and a Corvette?
i don't have a Corvette in my garage

why did the dead baby cross the road?
cuz someone stapled it to the chicken

whats funnier than a dead baby?
a dead baby in a clown costume
 
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