One that I can remember most recently went something like...
I just heard on the news that someone was admitted to the phyc ward this morning riding a donkey, wearing nothing but a thong... I will come get you, but This Is The Last Time!
A friend of mine texted me this joke: A man hits the lottery and shouts to his wife, " I hit the lottery so pack your shittt!" His wife asks, "Where are we going?" The man says, "I ain't going no damn where, but your asss is fixin' to hit the road!"
A polish guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, a leprachaun, 3 nuns, a dancing frog, a red neck, a priest, and a piece of string walk into a bar followed by one million ducks.