What do I do? What would you do? My future has changed dramatically (girlfriend).?

[SkilledAlex]

Okay. To start things off, I'll add some background info. I'm 16 and so is my girlfriend. We're both pretty good with our grades, and we want to stay together forever. We started having sex for the last 2 months and the last time we had sex...we had an accident. It turns out she might be pregnant...bodily symptoms, and missed period.

I'm fully aware that what we did could bring unexpected consequences if we weren't too careful, so please don't give me that negative crap that won't help.

We talked about the possibilities, and we decided that abortion/miscarriage isn't an option. If she were to get pregnant, she wants to have the baby because her parents would support her in raising it. She would miss school for a while...and I figured she could make up credits through online courses.

Now I know a plan is good in handling situations like these...but I'm still concerned about our future.

Basically, my question is for reassurance, and a sense of guidance if you will.

We both plan on going to college (Where? I don't know) but I'm scared...truly scared in how I'm going to handle a baby in our future. My question(s) is...what do I do from here? Do I finish college, sustain a living for the two of us, and then let our baby come into our reality?

So what I'm really trying to ask is...what would you do in my shoes?
-I would really just like some guidance right now, thank you. Sorry if this was long...I'm pretty sure I could've shortened it, but oh well.
Me and my girlfriend discussed abortion, but I was afraid of the chances that it might ruin her health. Also, her parents wouldn't be able to face her if she were to get abortion.

I'm kind of scared of going to my parents...I don't know what they'll say, and how much ashamed they will be of me. I realize it's a matter of time...it's just the fear of being disowned by my parents frightens me. If they support me in every way they can, then I'll be eternally grateful.

Thank you for your suggestion of finishing college...a lot has been bugging my mind.
I understand that a baby at 16 isn't "ideal", I've already thought of that a million times. I've come to accept my actions, so I'm just seeing what future actions I should take. Knowing that I might be a dad at 16 is the scariest thing that happened in my life, and I can't give much comfort to my girlfriend either other than assuring that I'll always be by her side no matter what happens.

Again, I've talked with her about abortion. She thought of it as a possibility, but her relations with her parents will be eternally altered. I want her to be eternally happy when she looks at me, not eternally regretful.

Just wanted to say thanks for those that contributed so far. It helps, really.

Our families are pretty well off, as they can support another child if they wanted to. So it's not a matter of financial issues. I know that my future has changed directions so I just want possibilities, that's all.

Thanks again guys.
Thank you A LOT "u_s_s_enterprise"
-It provides me a huge reassurance...which is what I really need right now.

Me and her are hopeful that it could just be a 'hickup' in the system, but we're just realizing what reality may be.

This question is opened to all that have suggestions, thank you ^_^ ...I'll post future info later on.

 

[usabradusa]

you sound very mature and im sure she is aswell, but my honest opinion is yeah you may be together forever you know...but it seems to make more sense to unfortunatley have an abortion, and try for a baby when your career paths are sorted, its the only right thing to do...and of course you have to think about what is fair for the child...coming into a family with young parents and no income, or parents who are older wiser and can by them the best presents at christmas....i would talk to her about abortion, i honestly think in my opinion it would be best ....good luck

 

[U_S_S_Enterprise]

It wasn`t too long - you gave decent background.

If you are correct and her (or your) parents will assist with a baby - then by all means finish school, both of you.
Dropping out is not an option considering the current economical climate.
Those without any education will be the first to be laid off.

As to college - if you can - go for it.
If your parents (from both of you) are willing to babysit, or assist, i`m sure you can work around things.

The fact that you ask, makes me believe you both will be good parents, if indeed she is pregnant - could be just a 'hickup' in the system - at 16 those things can happen.

 

[lil's]

Be a dad to your baby if she is pregnant. Don't give up. Pregnancy is hard for men and women, so persevere with her emotions and tantrums for the next 9 months. It will be worth it when u see your beautiful baby come in to the world. Stay in school and do your best as i'm sure you want to provide everything for your child throughout life.

Good luck. You are one of the good guys.

 

[IssaDe]

Thank goodness you're level-headed and not all 'wrap up the baby and throw it in the bin!'

Definitely finish college. It's hard, but it will be even harder in the future, if you don't have the education for a job which you will need.
It depends on how much your parents are going to help though..