what do i tell a friend that always complains about being fat?

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Sarah J

Guest
all day shes complaining about being overweight and that people are teasing her, and then she asks me if i think shes fat, i never know what to say so i always change the subject, what should i say to her? shes like 180 pounds and 5'3
 
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tLisat

New member
If she's 5'3 and 180 lbs then she is somewhat overweight for her height, and if she keeps mentioning it, then it obviously upsets her.

By asking what you think, maybe she is wanting reassurance, but it also sounds like a possible loaded question to me. If you say "yes, I think you could stand to lose some weight", then she can feel justified in acting hurt, but if you say "no, I don't think you're fat" then she can argue with you and say "Yes I am! You're just being nice by saying I'm not" and the cycle continues.....

At the end of the day it doesn't really matter what you or anyone else thinks about her weight. She is the only one who can make the decision either to lose weight or accept herself as she is, and I would be tempted to say something along those lines next time she tries to get you to comment on whether she's fat or not.

Depending on how close a friend she is to you, I guess you could offer to go swimming or do some other exercise with her, if she decides to do something proactive to help herself lose weight? That way you could support her efforts and help her feel that you care.
 
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HumanRace

Guest
If she wants to go on and on about it, inform her she should try a natural diet of Raw Organic Fruits and Veggies. All she wants to eat, and get healthy, lose weight, and receive all the nutrition she needs. This will almost make sure she doesn't ever get cancer or heart disease or the plethora of chronic illness only present in animal who eat a bad diet and cook their food, HUMANS. Stay away from cooked food, or any meat. Get some exercise too, its a must.
 
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Angela C

Guest
Say if you would spend all the time exercising that you do complaing u would be skinny! lol. i know what u mean though
 
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smiletyoulovemee

New member
When women do that, they only want to be told "You're beautiful/ thin/ amazing/ smart/ etc". Just start saying something like "Well I like you the way you are, but if you don't like it, then I'll be there to support you if you want to change it."
That way, you're sort of saying "Do something about it or shut up" without actually saying it.
 
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Carley

Guest
I have the same problem but my guy friend is complaining about being fat which he really isnt and anyways, umm hmm anyways well this is tricky, but its based on your opinion then comes the truth which she wont like and the lie she wont believe. so what ever u tell her evens it out

EDIT-jsut dont be like YES YOU ARE FAT
 
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Shawndra B

Guest
Be honest tell her to stand up for herself but in the meantime do something to change what's bothering her. Tell her to watch her calorie intake and take a walk a couple times a week. She doesn't have to be a size two but she should want to be healthy. Try to motivate her, it's always easier when someone has your back . She is considereed obese and should try to lose 50 pounds.
 
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i sat on it

Guest
your just going to have to tell her straight-stop moaning or do something about it. i cant stand it when people moan about something when they cant be bothered to do something about it. it may seem really mean, because shes your friend but she needs to know the truth!!!
 
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babychanel

Member
yeah i have a friend like that.tell her that it doesnt matter what others think about her what matters its how she feels about herself tell her if she really feels fat just change that exercise,eat right and drink vitamins.tell her that you will be there for her every step of the way and and help her reach her goal .remind her that the ball is on her court its her choice on wether she wants to do something about it or not .she is probably looking for pity and compliments and you shouldnt give her that because then she will continue to complain a real friend helps the other friend without being mean or cocky about it.Good luck with all:)
 
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