BabyCpattz
New member
- Sep 1, 2009
- 8
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...wondering if it is good? What do u think of this piece of writing??i stumbled across it and am wondering if it is good?
Here it is-
Its Friday night. Dad’s not home yet and mums getting worried. He’d told her that he would be home before six. Now it was after nine.
“He’s probably just caught up somewhere.” I said reassuringly.
She looked doubtful.
“He surely would have called.” She said, running her fingers through her hair.
She reached for the Stanley knife that granddad had bought her last Christmas.
“Don’t mum!” I said.
She took no notice.
“Please don’t.” I cried, trying to snatch the knife from her.
She shook her head.
“I have to” she whispered, tears running down her cheeks.
I stared at the person I thought was my mother.
Weeks ago my relationship with her was so strong. Now I didn’t even know who she was anymore.
Dad chose that moment to walk in. He looked furious when he saw mum with the knife.
“Jenny what the hell are you doing?” he yelled, walking over to her.
Mums face crumpled.
“I’m sorry Jay.” She said softly, still sobbing.
Dad spat at her feet, then turned and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
I put my arm around mum and held her tightly. She made her body go rigid.
I pulled away from her, disgusted.
It was always like this. She’d get upset about something, cut herself and then when I tried to comfort her she went cold.
Later, when she had calmed down I knew she would be looking for affection.
Here it is-
Its Friday night. Dad’s not home yet and mums getting worried. He’d told her that he would be home before six. Now it was after nine.
“He’s probably just caught up somewhere.” I said reassuringly.
She looked doubtful.
“He surely would have called.” She said, running her fingers through her hair.
She reached for the Stanley knife that granddad had bought her last Christmas.
“Don’t mum!” I said.
She took no notice.
“Please don’t.” I cried, trying to snatch the knife from her.
She shook her head.
“I have to” she whispered, tears running down her cheeks.
I stared at the person I thought was my mother.
Weeks ago my relationship with her was so strong. Now I didn’t even know who she was anymore.
Dad chose that moment to walk in. He looked furious when he saw mum with the knife.
“Jenny what the hell are you doing?” he yelled, walking over to her.
Mums face crumpled.
“I’m sorry Jay.” She said softly, still sobbing.
Dad spat at her feet, then turned and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
I put my arm around mum and held her tightly. She made her body go rigid.
I pulled away from her, disgusted.
It was always like this. She’d get upset about something, cut herself and then when I tried to comfort her she went cold.
Later, when she had calmed down I knew she would be looking for affection.
