What do you think of this? (revised?)?

mollym2

New member
Harry headed straight over to the sink and started drinking, not noticing my protective stance in front of the shower. Dad did though. He took long, deliberate steps towards me, then snatched the shower curtain in his hand and pulled it aside. I had never really understood the saying “heart caught in my throat" but I felt it then. I looked at Dad’s aging face, expecting anger, surprise at least but it merely held confusion. I turned my gaze to the bath. Finn was gone. I swear I almost *choked* on my heart at that moment.

It's a part of a short story for school.
Asterisks indicate italics.
Thanks
 
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