NaTaLiADoublelu
New member
No perverted jokes please
What is the funniest joke you have ever heard?
- Thread starter NaTaLiADoublelu
- Start date
LucyFitzenheimer
New member
umm... ok so there was this snail and he really wanted a car so he went to the shop and asked for their latest and fastest edition and wanted them to paint 'S's all over it. they asked why and he simply replied "youll see
" so he went back a few weeks later and there was only one 'S' he yelled at the manager and demanded them all over. "why?' the manager asked "youll see" the snail replied. finally, a few months later, the snail returned and the car was finished to perfection. there were 's's all over it! so he drove it out of the garage and ran through the streets at full power as people saw the car fly by they exclaimed "WHOA! LOOK AT THAT S CAR GO!" (escargot) hahaha
orrrr
once upon a time there were 3 women who died. they went to heaven and peter said the only rule in heaven was that you were not alllowed to step on any ducks. but the problem was, there were ducks EVERYWHERE all over the ground in a huge mob going on for eternity. so the women were very careful but within the first 5 minutes one of the women stepped on a duck. peter brought along a hideous, hideous man and handcuffed him to the woman for eternity for stepping on a duck. the other two men were very, very caerful, but within a few days, the second woman stepped on a duck. peter came along with a hideous, hideous man, and hancuffed him to the woman for eternity. the last woman lasted 2 weeks without stepping on any ducks, and started thinking she was going to be doing this forever when peter came along with this gorgeous man with flowing hair and glowing muscles and handcuffed him to the woman for eternity as a reward. she was so happy, she asked the man, "what did i do to deserve you!?" and he replied "i dont know about you, but i stepped on a duck." HAHAHAHAHHAHHA
two highlarious jokess!!!! my fav is the second but idk if i told the first one right...
" so he went back a few weeks later and there was only one 'S' he yelled at the manager and demanded them all over. "why?' the manager asked "youll see" the snail replied. finally, a few months later, the snail returned and the car was finished to perfection. there were 's's all over it! so he drove it out of the garage and ran through the streets at full power as people saw the car fly by they exclaimed "WHOA! LOOK AT THAT S CAR GO!" (escargot) hahahaorrrr
once upon a time there were 3 women who died. they went to heaven and peter said the only rule in heaven was that you were not alllowed to step on any ducks. but the problem was, there were ducks EVERYWHERE all over the ground in a huge mob going on for eternity. so the women were very careful but within the first 5 minutes one of the women stepped on a duck. peter brought along a hideous, hideous man and handcuffed him to the woman for eternity for stepping on a duck. the other two men were very, very caerful, but within a few days, the second woman stepped on a duck. peter came along with a hideous, hideous man, and hancuffed him to the woman for eternity. the last woman lasted 2 weeks without stepping on any ducks, and started thinking she was going to be doing this forever when peter came along with this gorgeous man with flowing hair and glowing muscles and handcuffed him to the woman for eternity as a reward. she was so happy, she asked the man, "what did i do to deserve you!?" and he replied "i dont know about you, but i stepped on a duck." HAHAHAHAHHAHHA
two highlarious jokess!!!! my fav is the second but idk if i told the first one right...
This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.
He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."
Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."
Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
knock knock whos there
cheetah
cheetah who
cheetah print
HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA SOOOOOO FUNNNNYYY LOVE THAT JOKE HAHAHAHHJAHAHAHAH LOLZ OMG MY STOMACHS HURTING RIGHT NOW AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH LOLZ OMG OMG CANT STOP LAUGHING HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA LOLZ HAHHAHAHHAAHAH UR SOOOO FUNNY GOOOD TIME HUH SALLY
cheetah
cheetah who
cheetah print
HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA SOOOOOO FUNNNNYYY LOVE THAT JOKE HAHAHAHHJAHAHAHAH LOLZ OMG MY STOMACHS HURTING RIGHT NOW AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH LOLZ OMG OMG CANT STOP LAUGHING HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA LOLZ HAHHAHAHHAAHAH UR SOOOO FUNNY GOOOD TIME HUH SALLY
InvisableNinja
New member
Flying Blondes
A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn
to fly.
As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to
instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter.
He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the
basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet,
she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so
beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."
After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was
to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and
was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.
A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about
half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, she said, "I don't know!
Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting
to get cold. I can barely remember anything after I turned
off the big fan!
A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn
to fly.
As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to
instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter.
He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the
basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet,
she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so
beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."
After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was
to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and
was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.
A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about
half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, she said, "I don't know!
Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting
to get cold. I can barely remember anything after I turned
off the big fan!