What options do we have? (Smart answers only...I guess I'm just looking to vent)?

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Nick

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I love my fiancee so much. I need her in my life. Unfortunately, we live two hours apart. Neither one of us has a car and we are both going to school. I have 2 and a half years left. She has around 1 and a half. We have been together a year already and it's so hard. God only knows how fast I'd join the military if I knew it would allow us some rights. But I know I'll be given no rights until DOMA is repealed. And by the time it is, I'll probably be out of school already. School is important. I know it. But I need her so much. It's so hard. Knowing we still can't be together even though we are both adults. (No we aren't in high school in case anyone was wondering)
I want to live with her. I want to marry her.
The screwed up part is that even if we did live together, I can't call her my wife legally. There is an overwhelming amount of stress on me right now. I don't know what to do. What she is studying, is only offered where she lives. Trust me, I have checked. And I don't have the money to relocate. I don't know what to do anymore
(In case you haven't picked up on this, yes we are a lesbian couple. Please, no judgmental comments. I don't need any of those right now. If you don't agree with this, then just keep it to yourself)
 
you gotta keep your head in the game. it sounds like youve been doing this a while and you are just getting frustrated. you can do this. you guys clearly love each other need each other and want to be with each other forever.

i dont suggest that either of you allow any of this to hinder school becuz like you said, its important and you dont wnt to end up resenting each other down the line becuz you made a decision based on emotion.

you have to figure out ways to inlude each other more in your day. write letters, skype, send emails text.

you cant let your stress get to you. be lucky you both agreed on doing it long distance and stick it out. you can do it and you will do it becuz you love her.

and i for one think its bull that you cant call her your wife but honey, its just a title i mean really and it only means so much now becuz u want it so bad and i know its unfair. it kinda sounds like your freaking out a bit and your restless and its ok its understandable becuz u miss her but they only way youll make it thru this is by being strong for one another.

and good luck!
 
Being apart when you are in love is really really difficult, gay or straight. I had to live apart for my husband for one year (I got a really high-prestige job) and it was incredibly lonely for both of us. But this is not something to uproot your life over. Your separation is a temporary measure that will come to an end in 1.5-2.5 years... when you two have finished your educations, you will have a lot more options, especially financially, to work out a way and a place to be together. Hell, even if the US doesn't pull our heads out of our butts regarding gay marriage, we aren't the only country on earth.

In the meantime, you'll just have to do what everybody in a LDR (long-distance relationship) does: cope. Two hours is not an insurmountable distance for a regular weekend trip... start saving up for a cheap used car, check out the bus schedules, or see if your school hasn't got a ridesharers board someplace. Sign up for a skype account or other free video chat service. And keep yourself mind occupied otherwise: maybe look into your campus' LGBT groups, or if you'd like something more fun, a sport. You can get through this.
 
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