What to do when my future mother in law tells her son that our bridal
registry is too expensive? My husband told me recently that his mother had mentioned that our bridal registry is too small and really too expensive.She emailed my mother and mentioned that the registry was too smallbut did not say anything about it being too expensive. My registry starts at $24.00 and the highest at $90.00. My fiance has a home and I rented a home and we did not need alot. We chose our china and our crystal Should I change my registry for I am now stressed even more!
Mommyinthemaking
New member
- Sep 17, 2008
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Don't listen. It's YOUR wedding and YOUR registry. $90 is NOT high!!! Your mother in law will just have to suck it up and get over it. Plan your wedding and registry around you and your husbands needs/wants noone elses. It's not their day, it's yours!!!!
I see a lot of people telling you to forget about it and that it's not you MIL's business. While on the surface I agree with them. Really, is this something you want to fight with her about? Do you really feel that strongly about it?
My guess is she's thinking about her friends/family/guests that will be coming and she knows their buying habits and what they'll be comfortable with. A lot of people (esp older ones) do not like to give money or gift cards.
If there's really nothing else you want to register for consider putting on some items you could donate to charity or something. If it really does bother you though try talking to her about it.... best to start off the relationship on good terms.
Good luck!
My guess is she's thinking about her friends/family/guests that will be coming and she knows their buying habits and what they'll be comfortable with. A lot of people (esp older ones) do not like to give money or gift cards.
If there's really nothing else you want to register for consider putting on some items you could donate to charity or something. If it really does bother you though try talking to her about it.... best to start off the relationship on good terms.
Good luck!
No, do not change it. Leave it as it is. If your gifts start at $24.00 it isnt too expensive at all. If people dont want to buy from your registry they can give you money -----at least you registered for some things.
As for your Mother in law -----------just let it go. dont mention it to her and dont talk about it. You dont need the stress before your wedding and it is simply just silly for her to be bringing it up. Just ignore it and tell your husband to do the same--not worth hassling over
As for your Mother in law -----------just let it go. dont mention it to her and dont talk about it. You dont need the stress before your wedding and it is simply just silly for her to be bringing it up. Just ignore it and tell your husband to do the same--not worth hassling over
GarnetGlitter
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- Jul 24, 2008
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No, and you act as if the statement and the phone call were never made because...
1) everyone is entitled to an opinion and is also allowed to express it
2) On the scale of offenses, it's a non issue, really.
3) If that stupid little thing stresses you, then you are looking for reasons to be stressed...you have control of your own stress level whether you believe you do or not.
keep your registry the way it is....never mind the MIL's comment...she will make many in the coming years...and so will your Mom and those will PO your husband.
1) everyone is entitled to an opinion and is also allowed to express it
2) On the scale of offenses, it's a non issue, really.
3) If that stupid little thing stresses you, then you are looking for reasons to be stressed...you have control of your own stress level whether you believe you do or not.
keep your registry the way it is....never mind the MIL's comment...she will make many in the coming years...and so will your Mom and those will PO your husband.
riversconfluence
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- Jul 24, 2008
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I would not worry, if you started at $24 that is fine. Most people go with gift cards anyway.
People will get you what they want to give anyway, and they will stay in their budget. Some people like to give the same thing to everyone, easy for them and fair and square for multiple relatives who tend to keep track of what you gave to each one of them. My Mom back in the day gave a good quality tea kettle, copper, from the high end department store.
But your Mom in law might have a good idea, some people like me like to get a box and fill it with stuff. A selection of $24 dollar items would have me loving it.
A friend's daughter got hung up in tiny details, and did not know what to put on a registry. Her hubby to be had forbidden her to register thinking that was trolling for gifts, but was told by his mother in law that he was being a stupid jerk, how would people know what they needed? He changed his mind a week before the wedding. I gave her spatulas and measure cups, etc. I never got thanked, so I guess she hated it, but why them put it on a registry? Nobody else had touched the little stuff. Maybe they knew her. Found out later that she and really stupid hubby would have preferred big ticket items, sure, I'm gonna go buy them a big screen tv, I had never met either one of them, the bride's Mom was a co-worker. They thought that Right until her new hubby went back to work the day they moved, left her alone in the apartment and told her to have dinner on the table when he got home. She had nothing to cook with, and called her mother to cry on her shoulder about it. Her Mom was unsympathetic, and told her so.
So, to each his own. If you want china, put china on the registry. And try to put several items of all price ranges, and let people know gift cards for that store are great, you will buy what you did not get after the wedding. You might someday be glad you asked for 2 salt and pepper sets.
People will get you what they want to give anyway, and they will stay in their budget. Some people like to give the same thing to everyone, easy for them and fair and square for multiple relatives who tend to keep track of what you gave to each one of them. My Mom back in the day gave a good quality tea kettle, copper, from the high end department store.
But your Mom in law might have a good idea, some people like me like to get a box and fill it with stuff. A selection of $24 dollar items would have me loving it.
A friend's daughter got hung up in tiny details, and did not know what to put on a registry. Her hubby to be had forbidden her to register thinking that was trolling for gifts, but was told by his mother in law that he was being a stupid jerk, how would people know what they needed? He changed his mind a week before the wedding. I gave her spatulas and measure cups, etc. I never got thanked, so I guess she hated it, but why them put it on a registry? Nobody else had touched the little stuff. Maybe they knew her. Found out later that she and really stupid hubby would have preferred big ticket items, sure, I'm gonna go buy them a big screen tv, I had never met either one of them, the bride's Mom was a co-worker. They thought that Right until her new hubby went back to work the day they moved, left her alone in the apartment and told her to have dinner on the table when he got home. She had nothing to cook with, and called her mother to cry on her shoulder about it. Her Mom was unsympathetic, and told her so.
So, to each his own. If you want china, put china on the registry. And try to put several items of all price ranges, and let people know gift cards for that store are great, you will buy what you did not get after the wedding. You might someday be glad you asked for 2 salt and pepper sets.
that hag, if she cant spend the $24.00 to get her son and new wife a once in a lifetime gift, she should stuff it. its your registry, not hers and its stuff you guys want/need not her. what the heck, does she want you to register at kmart? talk to other ppl first and ask if you think there should be "more selection" on your registry. not having enough items is one thing, but her complaining that your stuff is too expensive? thats so rude i cant believe anyone would say that.
In one ear and out the other my dear. Your registry is FINE. Please... the price range you have is perfect. Your mother in law will just have to suffer! 
Like it's any of her business anyways.
Your husband to be needs to memorize the line:
"Thank you for your thoughts mom, but my wife and I are handling it as we see fit."
It will pay off in later rounds
Like it's any of her business anyways.Your husband to be needs to memorize the line:
"Thank you for your thoughts mom, but my wife and I are handling it as we see fit."
It will pay off in later rounds
luv2answer
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- Oct 11, 2008
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Most registries I've seen start at $10 and go up to $500 or more. I would make it larger if she think its small but as far as price it sounds fine to me. It was awful inappropriate for her to call your mom about this. Yikes.
Don'tBlameme
New member
- Mar 30, 2009
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It is not your FMLs business, if people think your registry is too expensive then they will probably give you what they can in cash or gift cards to home stores or such. If I were you I would not worry too much about it.
Weddings are stressful and they make mothers and mothers-in-laws crazy. It seems to bring out the strange in people.
The important thing to remember is that it is your special day. In an effort to make it a special day for their children, parents often end up causing a lot of stress without realising it.
Consider suggestions but don't feel bad if you disagree. Be polite, and very probably you will have to get good at saying no. I am a people pleaser, so it was difficult for me but it gets easier and easier to say no.
It is a good idea to have a wide range of suggestions on your registry. Even if people don't buy exactly what you have listed, it gives them a good idea of what you like.
Remember it is your special day. Find lots of people you trust to take care of details on the day. On the day, just enjoy getting married and trust that if there is a problem, your loved ones will take care of it.
All the best.
May your wedding day be fun, sincere, and stress free.
The important thing to remember is that it is your special day. In an effort to make it a special day for their children, parents often end up causing a lot of stress without realising it.
Consider suggestions but don't feel bad if you disagree. Be polite, and very probably you will have to get good at saying no. I am a people pleaser, so it was difficult for me but it gets easier and easier to say no.
It is a good idea to have a wide range of suggestions on your registry. Even if people don't buy exactly what you have listed, it gives them a good idea of what you like.
Remember it is your special day. Find lots of people you trust to take care of details on the day. On the day, just enjoy getting married and trust that if there is a problem, your loved ones will take care of it.
All the best.
May your wedding day be fun, sincere, and stress free.