what u have been caught doing

hammered in my basement with weed in my pocket as well.
porn, not fapping but the websites were left in my history.
 
Weed.
Sexy time.
Buying and trading guns I wasn't supposed to.

That's it really...
 
People in business school do not type "1337". Sorry if my proper grammar and intelligence offends you?
 
You raunchy man you, having sex on a.....washing.....machine?


:ugh:
 
I didn't get caught cock-in-hand. I think my mom had suspicions, though. This was years ago when I was in high school.
 
Stole my dads credit card, hired hookers, and played some xbox.
 
got the cops called on me for being a hooker.

But I knew what was up when the customers just wanted to play Xbox.

cwatidudthur?
 
I got caught driving straight into a cement truck with my driver's permit, first time on the road.
 
Holy shit I do the same things with gummy worms. They would have an aren gladiator battle on my lap and I always ate the loser. Or sometimes I wold pretend I am a giant and the worms are like fighting me crawling up me and shit and I would always win by eating them.
 
stealing a shot glass at universal studios last week. now im banned from there for a year. sucks cuz my mom killed me
 
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser, " and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.
 
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