When one person in a relationship is extremely controlling what can the other do?

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puppysyndrome

Member
If you stay and put up with his controlling you, you are condoning that kind of behaviour.....and it will only get worse. Not a very nice environment to be in! I'd leave before I made any more of an emotional investment in him/her! With control, often comes manipulation and eventually emotional and/or physical abuse. Why would you subject yourself to that?
 
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Expressyourself

New member
Well I Dont Know how controlling"" the bf or gf is but depends how they act. For example" I Had a very "controlling Bf and he was to a point of verbal and physical abuse was his way to control me. sometimes u cant stop them u just have to leave when u get a chance.. dont be scared stand up for yourself. i was scared but after awhile I stood up for myself and told my family." ... but if its more like I dont want u going out with ur friends tonight And then gets kinda mad if u do then u can talk to him or her about it. Tell them u need ur own time and space but u love them. And hopefully they will understand. If not tell them if they dont let u have some alone time sometimes and trust u, its over. U got to stand up for yourself... ur only young.
 
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frillyfroofroo

New member
Controlling is a huge red flag...and, it may lead to violence. Tell your parents and call the National Abuse Hotline asking them for info on how to make a safe exit from this relationship. You may need to get a restraining order. Be very careful.

Joy to you!
 
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SouthernBella

New member
They are doing it, bc someone is ALLOWING them to do it. You have to put an end to it, no matter the cost. Whatever reason you're letting it go down like this, push that aside, and next time, do as you please - regardless. See what happens. IF, you adopting your OWN persona (fully) is a deal-breaker for your partner...well that's okay, bc that's a deal breaker for you as well. No one can be happy in a controlling relationship - you deserve to be loved for who you are, and above all, respected as an adult human being with rights and decision making power. Since you were 18 My Dear, no one has had the right to "tell you what to do".

Put an end to it...now. If it means the relationship is over....well at least you know NOW, not in 10 years when ur married with children...

PS - but on that note - lotsa a people just do it "bc they can". So leaving may not be the end result. If you "strap on a pair" and quit accepting this behavior, you may notice...it just goes away.
 
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JL

Member
None. Dump them is the BEST policy. Control = No Respect for The Other.

So why on earth would you want to be with the person who wants to control you? It could only happen when you have absolutely NO self-respect for yourself either. Then you certainly deserve a Loser like a controlling partner.

I know the exact feelings and situation. I dumped, with enormous JOY!! And I am much much happier now with a much better man and qualified man who has every respect for me as a person as well as a woman.
 
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Rrubicon

New member
If you can't communicate your feelings, you don't have much of a choice. He's not going to realize it's bothering you and he's controlling you unless you tell him.

Whatever you do, don't think you can change him if he doesn't want to.
 
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Srikkk

New member
Just do it:
1. prior to marriage, I mean love, it is called break off
2. After marriage with no kids, it is called Divorce
3. After marriage with kids, it is called Adjust. If not again it is called Divorce with child support
 
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ashleylovesyou(:

Guest
okay, i was with this guy who controlled me for 2 years!
2 years. is a long time to deal with all of that, about the last 3 months we are together, he slowly started hinting that he was physical abusive... then he finally let loose and hit me, and didnt stop, i was outside on the ground, he was spitting on me, hitting me everything. so i think that anybody should get out of a controlling relationship as quick as possible :D:clubbing:
 
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