Why am I so upset over a party?

Carie

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*I'm a...

My bad, I guess that was sort of a case in point moment.
I found out my mom wants to throw me a surprised party with all of my friends. It's really nice and all, but I'm just not looking forward to my birthday. Last year I put on a smile and fought back crying the entire time and waited a month to open my presents, it was just depressing. I was feeling stressed out before I found this out but now I'm super stressed out. She's really excited so I'm not going to say anything. How can I feel better about this?

I feel so bad and lame, I'm just not in the mood at all. I can't believe I'm crying over a birthday party. It has nothing to do with friends or anything like that, it's just life, it's so depressing, everything about it, there's a lot of sadness all over the world and I'm failure.

I'm sorry this is all incredibly stupid, I can't believe I'm even wasting space with it, I'm so selfish. Thanks so much for understanding!
I hope this is in the right section. Thanks again!
*I'm a...

My bad, I guess that was sort of a case in point moment.
Wow, my question came out normally and reversed the additional detail with my actual question (the long part is what my original post was). I'm sorry about that, I don't know what happened.
 
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