I'm 23/f and moved in with a 42 year old Indian guy 10 months ago. I found him off craiglist. I payed rent to him even though we had a sexual relationship. We developed a good friendship and have much of the same interests. 2 weeks after I moved in we started a sexual relationship. From the start of the relationship, he has said to me he feels bad and that he feels like he's taking advantage of me. During the 6 months, he loved touching and holding me, and he loved the cuddling as much as the sex. He has said to me many times how lonely he is and basically has told me that he wants the touching and holding more than anything else. He is kind of a mentor to me, and teaches me things about life.
There was an incident a couple months ago where we were walking down the street arguing about something ( I don't even remember what) and he pushed me. After he pushed me, he blamed me, saying that I had somehow wanted to be pushed.
I moved out of his place about 2 months ago, to separate myself from him. But we've still been seeing each other since then.
He’s always been telling me that he’s afraid he will hurt me emotionally. A couple months ago he suggested that I should date and find someone my own age and be in a loving relationship. Yet he says, even if I date other people, he still wants to be friends with me. He claims he cares about me as a friend.
In mid-January of this year, he brought up the idea to me to become exclusive. He said we should be boyfriend and girlfriend. Then a day later, he said that he still wants to exclusively date, but not be in a committed relationship with the title boyfriend girlfriend. So he changed his mind within a day. Since then, everything has been fine exclusively dating each other. However, again just recently he said to me that perhaps we should slow down sexually and that maybe we should start seeing other people, because he has nothing left to teach or offer me. He again told me that he’s not sure if he can commit to me, but he still wants to exclusively date, if that is what I want. He says he just doesn’t want to give me false hope that he will commit. He still wants to be best friends.
2 days ago he broke up with me. He said that he's 43 now and doesn't have time just to hang out with someone. He doesn't think we're at the same place in our lives, as he wants marriage and kids within 2 years.
I'm quite sad about this relationship ending even though I know it's toxic: he's 20 years older, he pushed me one time, him not wanting to committ.
There are so many things that were wrong with the relationship, yet i still miss him. I've been breaking down into tears at random times..and keep on thinking of the memories I have with him, and how I miss the hugs and cuddling
He said he still wants to be friends and meet maybe once a week...but I think it will be too painful for me.
Now just 3 days after the breakup, he's saying that he doesn't think he can do it and that he misses me too much. He says that he really likes the emotional connection that we have. He now says that if I want a long-term commitment and am open to marriage in a couple years, that we should date again.
I can't take this back and forth from him--one day he breaks up and then 3 days later he's interested in a long-term commitment.
What should I do? He keeps on asking me what I want, but I don't even know what I exactly want.
I'm definitely not ready for marriage.
There was an incident a couple months ago where we were walking down the street arguing about something ( I don't even remember what) and he pushed me. After he pushed me, he blamed me, saying that I had somehow wanted to be pushed.
I moved out of his place about 2 months ago, to separate myself from him. But we've still been seeing each other since then.
He’s always been telling me that he’s afraid he will hurt me emotionally. A couple months ago he suggested that I should date and find someone my own age and be in a loving relationship. Yet he says, even if I date other people, he still wants to be friends with me. He claims he cares about me as a friend.
In mid-January of this year, he brought up the idea to me to become exclusive. He said we should be boyfriend and girlfriend. Then a day later, he said that he still wants to exclusively date, but not be in a committed relationship with the title boyfriend girlfriend. So he changed his mind within a day. Since then, everything has been fine exclusively dating each other. However, again just recently he said to me that perhaps we should slow down sexually and that maybe we should start seeing other people, because he has nothing left to teach or offer me. He again told me that he’s not sure if he can commit to me, but he still wants to exclusively date, if that is what I want. He says he just doesn’t want to give me false hope that he will commit. He still wants to be best friends.
2 days ago he broke up with me. He said that he's 43 now and doesn't have time just to hang out with someone. He doesn't think we're at the same place in our lives, as he wants marriage and kids within 2 years.
I'm quite sad about this relationship ending even though I know it's toxic: he's 20 years older, he pushed me one time, him not wanting to committ.
There are so many things that were wrong with the relationship, yet i still miss him. I've been breaking down into tears at random times..and keep on thinking of the memories I have with him, and how I miss the hugs and cuddling
He said he still wants to be friends and meet maybe once a week...but I think it will be too painful for me.
Now just 3 days after the breakup, he's saying that he doesn't think he can do it and that he misses me too much. He says that he really likes the emotional connection that we have. He now says that if I want a long-term commitment and am open to marriage in a couple years, that we should date again.
I can't take this back and forth from him--one day he breaks up and then 3 days later he's interested in a long-term commitment.
What should I do? He keeps on asking me what I want, but I don't even know what I exactly want.
I'm definitely not ready for marriage.