Why do I complain that I have no friends, but don't go out of my way to keep them?

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Brookie_Cookie

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Serious opinions please. I am 27 years old,a mother and a wife. A Gemini for goodness sake! I am entertaining, pleasent, attractive, active. I complain to me husband because he has friends from high school that he still spends time with (the guys) and I have no real friends. I am a SAHM so I don't have co-workers. My mom and sister are the only women I talk to regularly. I even lived with my SIL for a year, we share many similarities: close in age, both have kids, married to twim brothers, but we arent friends. Why? I recently ran into an old co-worker and we exchanged numbers. She called a few times and I have blown her off every time. I feel like I want female friends, but I guess I don't REALLY want to spend time with anyone other than my immediate family. I don't feel like I can be myself. Oh- I have no problem hanging out with male friends, it's different for me. So, any ideas?
Joseph II: thank you =] i'm starting to get it now.
 
You want female friends yet you don't want to spend time with them. I don't get it.
 
ANY Relationship requires Commitment... And evidently YOU aren't willing to take the extra steps NECESSARY- to keep those Relationships going. Sure you may WANT to have Girlfriends to socialize with... -but WANTING isn't GETTING unless YOU make the Effort to Support the Relationship! Real "Friends" aren't People You "decorate your Life" with. They're People YOU can relate too, share things with, & care about... If You don't have the Time or Interest in keeping up with Friends- fine, DON'T make any. But ALSO Don't complain about what You DON'T really Need...
 
Being close in age and having kids aren't enough of a foundation for friendship. A former co-worker isn't enough of a foundation. Friendships are built on compatibility, having mutual interests and liking each other's personality style. Your husband is different - he found this compatibility in high school and doesn't have to keep looking for it. You haven't found it yet. Also, you don't feel like making an effort. Frankly, you don't need friends, you have your family. Friends aren't as critical as you think.
 
maybe you're just one of those people that don't click with women.

It's ok, my mom's two closest friends are her mother and sister, and when i asked her about it she replied "they're all i need".

so who knows.
 
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