I don't know if this is normal or not, but I'm 19 and I think about sex a lot. The thing is that I'm really struggling with some things here. I was raised in a pretty dysfunctional environment, so today I have a lot of emotional problems and issues relating to people. Nobody really has the patience to deal with me, and I guess that's okay. I haven't had friends for the longest time and I've never been with a girl. I was never taught anything about sex, so I had to learn it all on my own from the internet, kids at school, tv, porn, etc. The most I've done is experiment with webcam masturbation with random girls online.
The thing is that I'm still a virgin and I want to wait until I find a girl I can be really close with, but at the same time I just really want to have sex bad. I've learned to hate this aspect of myself. I know it probably sounds weird, but I want to explore it with someone who also wants to explore it, while we are both young. Don't get me wrong, I want to be with a girl I can also connect to on an emotional level as well, someone who I could talk to and also hang out with and stuff, not just for sex. I've just become so shy and so reserved that I don't think I can do this. I doubt I'll ever meet anybody who can accept me as I am. I could just find a girl online and explore webcam stuff with her, but I don't think I want to do that anymore. Masturbation helps a little, but not sure if it's enough for me anymore.
The thing is that I'm still a virgin and I want to wait until I find a girl I can be really close with, but at the same time I just really want to have sex bad. I've learned to hate this aspect of myself. I know it probably sounds weird, but I want to explore it with someone who also wants to explore it, while we are both young. Don't get me wrong, I want to be with a girl I can also connect to on an emotional level as well, someone who I could talk to and also hang out with and stuff, not just for sex. I've just become so shy and so reserved that I don't think I can do this. I doubt I'll ever meet anybody who can accept me as I am. I could just find a girl online and explore webcam stuff with her, but I don't think I want to do that anymore. Masturbation helps a little, but not sure if it's enough for me anymore.