why do women complain about men not being like they were when they first met?

[DaveR]

so tell me whats the diff, when a man meets a lady and she is hot then 2 years after being married she has let herself go!

isn't that the same thing?

why is it ok for a woman to change, but its not ok for a man to change?

 

[KestraSpiritNova]

When a woman complains about a man having changed, it's that he used to treat her nicely and he doesn't bother to be kind to her anymore. The way you treat your spouse trumps every other issue in a marriage. And it's so easy to be nice to your spouse. It takes less effort to be nice than it takes to lose weight.

Despite that, that doesn't mean physical appearance isn't important either. It is okay to help your wife lose the weight. It's just that approaching the situation calls for a little bit of tact, that's all there is to it.

 

[Housewife916]

Because, men change emotionally, and mentally. Most guys only complain that their lady has gained/lost too much weight. Women need for the men that they marry to communicate with them and still help keep the flame going. Men don't seem to need it that much or if they do, they don't say so very offten.

 

[bettym]

These are two separate problems that have nothing to do with each other. There's a BIG difference between a person's personality changing and the way you treat a person. And a person who has gained some weight and stopped caring about their looks.

Most women who are in a happy relationship and her husband makes her feel loved and appreciated, she will take care of her appearance and want to look nice for her husband. But when her husband stops treating her good and she's miserable, she stops caring about her appearance.

Most women don't complain about a man gaining weight unless he gains so much that she's worried about his health. What women complain about is how a man treats her and how he use to treat her good and now that they are married that has all changed.

How do you figure you can compare looking hot and letting your appearance go. To treating a person good and then treating them like crap? If I have to explain it, then there's no hope for you, because you're clueless.

 

[JodiC]

Women complain as much as guys because we are all human. The complaints in relationships are normal. We change from what we were to what we are a couple of years on because we are comfortable, a pattern has been established etc.....unfortunately some people just stop trying and allow things to get into a big rut and this is where the rot sets in.

 

[Amarante]

talking about in a different way

nothing to do with weight (sometimes it is), but has to do with personality and how they acted then (better than they do now)

they want the man that they fell in love with

 

[NancyM]

It is never okay to change for the worse. That goes for both men and women.

 

[RachelB]

It's not okay to let yourself go. It's alwasy wise to look good for your husband no matter how long you've been married. It works the other way around too.

In my fiance's family I see it all the time. His mom, aunts, sisters were once skinny or at least fit, now they are married and huge!!!

 

[RachelB]

It's not okay to let yourself go. It's alwasy wise to look good for your husband no matter how long you've been married. It works the other way around too.

In my fiance's family I see it all the time. His mom, aunts, sisters were once skinny or at least fit, now they are married and huge!!!

 

[CrackerJack1]

Wish I knew. If anything, they seem to change after a good period of time in every way, aside from physically.

 

[jimrich]

re: she has let herself go!
>>Why? Why has she let herself go and why does he allow it or have no solution? Is it because they BOTH have no clue how to keep things UP?

re: why is it ok for a woman to change, but its not ok for a man to change?
>> It's not OK for either to change - except for the BETTER!
But they just DON'T KNOW HOW!

 

[star]

mental and physical change are different. Its a matter how you treat somebody. If a man really loved her, then BEFORE the wedding he should have established ALL the possible scenarios of WHAT IF this woman changes. if she gets fat, will i still love her? if she gets an arm amputated will i still love her? if she has breast cancer and one or both her breasts have to be removed, will i still love her? if a man is only interested in her body, then there is no need for tying the knot.

these two things are totally different.

 

[Kat]

No, women don't let themselves go, it's that wwe try so hard to impress the other person, our clothes, makeup, hair and even, or attitudes are on best behaivor to get a man! Once we get a man we can stop trying so hard! I don't do this though, if a man doesn't love me for me, they can f--k off! With men it's the same thing, they stop buying flowers, or little trinkets! I think to many people are jaded by life marrage bills etc! Because women want romatic gestures, and with men they forget or let it fade away,.... women try to make things romantic!

 

[Confident]

Cause women are bitches. Everyone changes!

 

[BabeHeart]

You have a point...but if I'm not mistaken when a woman says that she's most likely talking about behavior (he doesn't act like he did when they met)....you are speaking of appearance.

However, a change in either (behavior or appearance) can cause someone to feel they didn't end up with who they thought they were getting initially....