Wife not interested in relationship at all?

[RavikumarBhatia]

Help! I'm at my wits end. My wife has very little interest in intimacy and rarely shows affection. To paint the picture,I am in my 40s and she in her late 30s.My wife and I have been married for 2 years. This is our second marriage, before marriage my wife was in a relation with someone else , which I found out after marriage, I am not sure if they had any relation after marriage also .We've had our problems, but we're still together. She doesn't like sex. she would give it up to me ONLY because I wanted it. Which is fine for her. Me, that's not working. Getting it under an emotionless state was better than nothing. I want it worse than I ever have in my life. I want to be supportive of her, but I end up angry due to total lack of any kind of attention. The lacking is more than just sex. My wife will basically never give a compliment, while I often let her know, that she looks good in what she's wearing or her hair looks nice or whatever. She will never just come up and give a hug or a squeeze of the hand or a kiss, while I do. And our sex life? Nothing for the past 16 months. I know we cant expect to be like a couple without kids and complications, but we could and should be doing better than we are and its really starting to bother me. I try to suggest things showering together, go to bed early (she then says lets just have a cuddle) she is not interested. I get frustrated at her lack of knowledge on intimacy & trying to satisfy me. She does not like to touch me. If I try to kiss her she at times turns away - I view it as rejection. My self image and confidence are suffering, but she thinks Im being silly. Any ideas????. I don't know how to deal with my feelings. I don't understand my feelings. I have become a pervert and I don't like it. What can I do?

 

[WENDELHOMES]

You have got to get things going in order for your marriage to last; speak to her or write it down so that see can see the hurt she is unfolding, try marriage counselling to see whether stuff can improve... if not, then for the sake of your health, divorce is open to all who need it.
Divorce is the last resort but whilst you still have some fight left in you and are young enough to make a happy life away from such a frigid woman it is foolish not to seek avenues to a great future, do not go along with anything like this again, everyone deserves better.