ColombianaSwimmer
New member
This is an UC application personal statement essay. I already written my first essay and this will be my second essay.
Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution, or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
I decided to use swimming and I was wondering if this is a good introduction paragraph that catches the reader's eye.
When people hear the word swimming, they think of water lots of chlorine water that can suffocate you like a tight hug. But to me, swimming is not hell, it’s my sanctuary. Swimming helps me not to think about anything or anybody. It relaxes my mind and body. The way the water splashes on my face, makes me feel relieved and calm. I am the water, moving in different directions never stopping wherever I go, like the waves in the ocean. I am the water determined to get through anything and putting all my strength into whatever I do.
I want to be a writer and want to take a major in creative writing. But this is the 2nd prompt to UC and it's very hard to write about how I feel about swimming. Since I was in competitive swim and water polo.
Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution, or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
I decided to use swimming and I was wondering if this is a good introduction paragraph that catches the reader's eye.
When people hear the word swimming, they think of water lots of chlorine water that can suffocate you like a tight hug. But to me, swimming is not hell, it’s my sanctuary. Swimming helps me not to think about anything or anybody. It relaxes my mind and body. The way the water splashes on my face, makes me feel relieved and calm. I am the water, moving in different directions never stopping wherever I go, like the waves in the ocean. I am the water determined to get through anything and putting all my strength into whatever I do.
I want to be a writer and want to take a major in creative writing. But this is the 2nd prompt to UC and it's very hard to write about how I feel about swimming. Since I was in competitive swim and water polo.