ChristianTeenager
New member
- Sep 10, 2011
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Ever since I was 5 everyone has said I am talented a writing. so now I am looking for some real critics. can you guys tell me what you think of this, it is the first draft of the first chapter of something I might call Growing Tomatoes. I hope that I will finally publish this into a book.
Emily stared into the glowing screen, she changed the word “plants” for “vegetables” then she pressed enter,
still none of the results looked appealing
“Mum, Dad” Emily said
“yes sweety” replied her mother, peeking around the corner from where she had been folding the washing, “what’s the problem”
“I need to know what I can plant in that hot house thingy,” “and I cant find anything on the internet”
Emily was twelve years old. her family had just moved to a new house. Emily had never moved before, well, they had moved house when she was a baby, but she didn’t remember that. at her new house, there was no room for a garden except for a small hot house. “um, I think I’ve growen cucumbers in a hot house” said Emilys mother
“of course you have Mum,” Emily sighed “you’ve growen cucumbers in every way possible,
you’d grow them on the moon if you could.”
“theres nothing wrong with liking cucumbers” said Emilys mother, who was now standing in the doorway holding a folded tea towel. “no,” Emily addmitted, “but that’s your thing”
“ah, well, you could grow potatoes” said Emilys mother.
“would they grow in a hot house” asked Emily.
“err,” just then Emilys father walked in.
“hello Daddy” Emily chimed.
“hi sweety” her Father replyed “what are you up to”
“I’m just trying to figure out what to plant” said Emily.
“what to plant?”
“Vegetables” said mother
“but they have to be vegetables that can grow in a hot house” said Emily
“you could grow them in pots darling, on the deck” suggested Emilys mother.
“ I don’t want to.” Emily said, as she lowered her head and looked back into the screen, she deleted her previous search and typed in “what can i grow in a greenhouse”
she clicked on the top result, which brought her to a chat room, she immediately noticed that a lot of the posts said tomatoes were good to grow in a hot house.
“imm” thought Emily, “I could make salsa”.
Emily stared into the glowing screen, she changed the word “plants” for “vegetables” then she pressed enter,
still none of the results looked appealing
“Mum, Dad” Emily said
“yes sweety” replied her mother, peeking around the corner from where she had been folding the washing, “what’s the problem”
“I need to know what I can plant in that hot house thingy,” “and I cant find anything on the internet”
Emily was twelve years old. her family had just moved to a new house. Emily had never moved before, well, they had moved house when she was a baby, but she didn’t remember that. at her new house, there was no room for a garden except for a small hot house. “um, I think I’ve growen cucumbers in a hot house” said Emilys mother
“of course you have Mum,” Emily sighed “you’ve growen cucumbers in every way possible,
you’d grow them on the moon if you could.”
“theres nothing wrong with liking cucumbers” said Emilys mother, who was now standing in the doorway holding a folded tea towel. “no,” Emily addmitted, “but that’s your thing”
“ah, well, you could grow potatoes” said Emilys mother.
“would they grow in a hot house” asked Emily.
“err,” just then Emilys father walked in.
“hello Daddy” Emily chimed.
“hi sweety” her Father replyed “what are you up to”
“I’m just trying to figure out what to plant” said Emily.
“what to plant?”
“Vegetables” said mother
“but they have to be vegetables that can grow in a hot house” said Emily
“you could grow them in pots darling, on the deck” suggested Emilys mother.
“ I don’t want to.” Emily said, as she lowered her head and looked back into the screen, she deleted her previous search and typed in “what can i grow in a greenhouse”
she clicked on the top result, which brought her to a chat room, she immediately noticed that a lot of the posts said tomatoes were good to grow in a hot house.
“imm” thought Emily, “I could make salsa”.