1-year-old, pregnant, depressed... need advice...rant...?

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Zachary'sMummy

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I posted this previously in the pregnancy section but I thought this answer is more suited to this section after all... so...

I'm 37 weeks pregnant and I'm feeling so depressed while my husband is at work and I'm at home with my almost-1-year-old. I'm getting induced next week (obstetric cholestasis) so it won't last forever, but I was wondering if you could give me some tips on interacting with my littel guy.

I feel so bad because I feel like crying all the time. I get really frustrated becuase he **constantly** wants to be picked up. I don't have the energy to pick him up and play with him all day. I haven't even packed my baby bag, or the bag for Zachary (my 1-year-old) when he goes to my parents' when I'm in labour. I was trying to do that earlier today and he pulled my pants off tugging on my leg and whining. He makes this whiny noise for HOURS that drives me NUTS.

I basically cried all morning and he looked at me and cried too, he was so confused and maybe scared because I'm not usually like this. I usually try to smile and play with him all the time... his temperament has changed in the past week or two since I have been acting like this. Also, I'm always telling him "no" because he seems bored all the time and always wants things he can't have, like being picked up, or playing on the washing machine or the stove-top (I have an electric flat stove).

I feel guilty because Im always trying to put him down for a nap so I can get a few hours of peace and quiet. He used to be such a happy baby and he favoured me above anyone else, and lately, he doesn't even want to come to me anymore when daddy's around, he wants daddy and not me. I get the feeling he's bored at home with me, but I have NO energy to take him anywhere, like I used to all the time, to interact or at least be around people. I feel bad that I'm not being the best mother to him right now, he's really still a baby.

My husband is supportive when he is home btw, - he even wakes up with Zachary so I can sleep better- but he just works all day and into the evening and it's frustrating.

Anyway, there goes my rant and I was wondering if anyone could give me some tips. Thanks!
 
Do you have family near by? Maybe your oldest can go hang out with them for a day, or even spend the night. You can say is preparation for the big day. It will give you time to be yourself, take a nap, and pack a bag or two. Maybe you can make some casseroles and freeze them, that will help out after the baby is born. I've only been a stay at home mom for 2 months, my son is 7 months old, and there are some days I'm so excited for my husband to get home just to pass off our son and relax.
 
Ah! I feel your pain.. sort of.. Well my daughter is almost 2 and I'm 32 weeks, so It's not quite as hectic. Things will get a little better once the baby is born. It will be hard for you at first with both of them, but once you get back into the swing of things it should be better. Zachary will want your attention more, but if you let him around the baby as much as possible, he should be pretty interested in the new one. He'll be really curious. Just try to include him in what's going on as much as possible.

Basically if I were you, right now I'd start putting off on the household chores and such and leave that for hubby. You have enough on your plate right now. Spend as much quality time with Zachary as you can because he's going to feel a little weird when the baby comes! You can do really low-energy things with him, like singing (my daughter loved this Little People CD and we sang kids songs all the time) and reading. I hope this helped, maybe a little! I'm nervous for my daughter, too... I feel really bad now that it's hard to hold her anymore. But hopefully you can catch a break and relax! Maybe get a sitter for a couple hours just for time to yourself? Good luck, and congrats :)
 
first of all.....breath :-)
secondly, its okay! i understand completely! your pregnant and thats tough, especially with a one year old.
have you tried buying some games that you can both play that are more calm, or maybe buying some movies that he might be interested in so you can get some peace. im sure he realizes that the baby is coming even if he doesnt say anything, and he's getting anxious. you should try to think of it this way...what does he need and try to put his mind in your frame of thinking that way you understand better where he's coming from.
maybe he's already getting a bit jelous, or maybe he's excited or maybe he wants more time with you before the new baby comes.
it'll probably be easier once the little one is here because he'll see his brother/sister (im not sure if you said what your having).
maybe you should ask someone ( a friend/relative) to take him for a day so you can get some much needed rest.
of course your tired, your carrying another human being in your body 24/7!
when you feel fustrated, just try breathing and recognizing that your upset and that him pulling your pants down wasnt as big of a deal as your emotions are making it.
i do this when my son is fustrating me. i just think of what just happened and how little of a deal that is when compared to life in general.
im sure he just wants more quality time with mommy before new baby comes. good luck and congrats on new baby :-)
i hope this helped.
 
Kids pick up on your emotions. Why are you even crying in front of him? Of course he is gonna react and start crying. Ever parent goes threw the constantly having to say no, its a part of parenthood. Im 5 months pregnant with a 22 month old who im saying no to atleast 50 times a day and its not because he is bored its because at this age they love to test their limits. And he probably wants his daddy because he is not getting his way with you. Its all normal so dont feel bad. Try only being happy around him, and if you feel like your gonna cry then put him in a play pen or crib and go to the bathroom and cry. Its not gonna hurt him if you leave him alone for a few mins and have a good cry. I did this almost every night for the first 4 months my husband was deployed. good luck and congrats on baby.
 
thats the process of a child, dont listen to the ignorant no minded person who said shoot yourself. now everyone makes mistakes but babies are the most gorgeous things that enters one's heart no matter the situation, just fight and i promise everything would go just find and think of your husband working so hard as if he is getting all the money work done now and when the baby is delivered you would have time to rest and even time to hang with the girls......lol good luck and good ridings
 
This all sounds normal. Don't worry your son will bounce back to his old self again as will you. I am sure he can sense a change in every ones mood and it is hard for him to express it. For ideas on what to do with him this will be hard because he is young. Maybe you could make some (or have your hubby do it) play dough, or even buy some that is none toxic, and sit at the kitchen table, it's not that messy and it will keep him busy and quiet for a little while. Also maybe have your husband pick him up some little people or rescue heroes to play with something new might keep him occupied for a little while and give you a chance to rest. Don't feel bad or guilty for needing a break that is part of mother hood and you are doing great. Good Luck and hang in there it is almost over.
 
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