a husband who is always whining and criticising !?

[nerdy]

My husband is always whining and telling me how lucky I am to get a husband like him. He always criticise whatever I do and tells me that I don't serve him well. He is always always criticising my parents too. If my parents or I give him a gift he never likes it and he makes sure to point it out. There is not a single day in which he feels sorry for himself and criticise me for having such a wonderful husband. I can not expect any honest statement from him it has to be always with sarcasm. He is always always doubting me and my family even if we do anything with good intentions. He has the habit of brining up old and buried issues and when he does that my whole day mood gets spoiled. I give him part of my income , I cook for him clean for him and this is what I get. He has never driven me anywhere not even to the doctors . He has never taken me out for a date. He is always absorbed in his mother and sisters. I am pregnant and he doesn't seem to care much.

I have tried everything to make things better but his self praising and criticism has made my life hell. Parents think I can work things out ! Please help ? would you put up with all this ? His behaviour has made me an irritable person which I never was ? what should I do more ?

 

[Conquistador]

Ouch.

Sounds to me like it can be combination of things. Has he always been this insecure to invest emotionally into his family more than you?
Given the info, it seems he is really insecure (with some discontentment mixed in for flavor) with himself and is letting you know indirectly. Of course, being bitter at either you and himself can do the same.
Insecurities like this can really only be discovered when your husband opens himself to you. Perhaps he feels you don't appreciate him in deed and don't say you love him much (though to be fair, now is probably really tough).

Friendship and love are ALWAYS given. The whole point of it is seeking to know and understand the other, seeking their needs before your own. It isn't interested in the others body or have some ridiculous expectation of perfection (who is?) but is interested in the others welfare even at the cost of itself.
Also, a true friend understands that love given and is delighted if not humbled by this gift of friendship. My parents (married 30+ years with 9 kids!) love each other so much because they understood this principle.

Ultimately, unless your husband can open himself to you and tell you what bothers him (which requires you to be humble regardless), then things will only get worse.

Of course, feel free to ask other never-divorced couples (parents too) for advice.

Hope this steers you in the right direction!

 

[nurseejones]

seems to me that his behavior has nothing to do with you. From what you described, your husband seems like he is not happy with himself so he takes it out on you! you are probably the only person that really cares when he throws a fit! so he lashes out on you! He seems like he is at a point in his life where he is not satisfied with his accomplishments, this is why he puts you and others down. He probably is not financially secure and this too can cause him to freak out! Men, no matter how supportive you may be financially....they have the natural instinct to want to provide and if this is not accomplished.....all hell breaks loose.

 

[Jill]

Omg absolutely not! Im pregnant too and he should be nothing but supportive at the moment. My husband has done nothing but look after me since we found out im expecting like any real man would.

Hes trying to put you down, trying to make you feel not worthy of being with him, he sounds like a complete ****!!! Dont let him! He sounds controlling, hes saying all that and bringing up old issues to make you feel like less of a person. He insulting your family too?? Put your foot down! Your going to be the mother of his child and he has no respect! Im sorry but i find his behaviour absolutely digusting. He never took you to the doctors??

Are you really happy with this guy? Do you want to be with him? I dont know why anyone would put up with this, if i were you id get rid. I know your pregnant but it sounds to me that you would be better off without him? Either that or you gotta tell him hes got to start getting more involved in the pregnancy and start treating you how you should be treated. Its hard enough being pregnant without having someone like that around i would be more than irritable!!

 

[TheDevil1]

Make his favorite dinner with candlelight and soft music. Be sure to wear something VERY sexy!! After dinner, get on your knees and give him an AWESOME bj. Be sure to swallow. This will clearly establish who is in charge. Then; ask him if he has any complaints about THAT and let him know immediately that you are not going to put up with this behavior any longer. Tell him you are willing to work with him and remind him when he slips up but you expect him to apologize when he does. If his attitude doesn't change; you will see him in divorce court. I promise he will think Long and Hard about if he wants to lose you or not.

 

[Glen]

Give him the opportunity to go to marriage counselling together, if he refuses, move on

 

[sweetie]

DIVORCE! Clearly you're un-happy , and I think he might be cheating on you if he's criticizing . he is probably doing that to feel less guilty about himself . If you stay with him you'll just be wasting your time .