BloopieBlooper
New member
to complain and use you? I am an undergraduate student at a University who plans to apply to a graduate program for a Master's in Counseling, specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy.
Right now I am coping with a girl who is in my major who I feel is taking advantage of me. She wants to get together to study, then talks on her phone, complains that the class is too hard and just doesn't contribute that much. She also constantly complains about her life situations and doesn't seem to really want to do anything to change them. For example she pretty much had to quit her job to go back to school and has been denied unemployment. She was dissapointed and upset that her partner of 8 years would not financially support her. I told her I understood, however he had made it clear every step of the way that he does not want to financially support her through school. Suggestions such as GET A JOB (she has been offered nanny and babysitting jobs, but doesn't want to take them because she wants to spend time with her boyfriend. Ummm??? Huh??) and take out a student loan have been made, but it sounds like she really just wants unemployment, to which she has been denied twice.
My question is, have others in the mental health field felt guilty that they don't want to listen to people that aren't their friends or loved ones complain about the same problems over and over? If so, how do you cope? I guess I have been feeling that as a person interested in mental health, I should care more, but I don't. I don't want to be friends with this girl, I feel she uses myself and others to help her when she doesn't do the school work and on top of that, her personality really iritates me and she talks down to me. Not a healhty person for me to be friends with.
But what about a compassion oriented obligation? Is this part of the deal when you go into mental health, that you have to be compassionate and understanding even when a person is not good for you? Or am I just having problems because I didn't learn to set boundaries when I was younger and was taught that it's bad to have boundaries and am just now learning to set them as an adult?
Right now I am coping with a girl who is in my major who I feel is taking advantage of me. She wants to get together to study, then talks on her phone, complains that the class is too hard and just doesn't contribute that much. She also constantly complains about her life situations and doesn't seem to really want to do anything to change them. For example she pretty much had to quit her job to go back to school and has been denied unemployment. She was dissapointed and upset that her partner of 8 years would not financially support her. I told her I understood, however he had made it clear every step of the way that he does not want to financially support her through school. Suggestions such as GET A JOB (she has been offered nanny and babysitting jobs, but doesn't want to take them because she wants to spend time with her boyfriend. Ummm??? Huh??) and take out a student loan have been made, but it sounds like she really just wants unemployment, to which she has been denied twice.
My question is, have others in the mental health field felt guilty that they don't want to listen to people that aren't their friends or loved ones complain about the same problems over and over? If so, how do you cope? I guess I have been feeling that as a person interested in mental health, I should care more, but I don't. I don't want to be friends with this girl, I feel she uses myself and others to help her when she doesn't do the school work and on top of that, her personality really iritates me and she talks down to me. Not a healhty person for me to be friends with.
But what about a compassion oriented obligation? Is this part of the deal when you go into mental health, that you have to be compassionate and understanding even when a person is not good for you? Or am I just having problems because I didn't learn to set boundaries when I was younger and was taught that it's bad to have boundaries and am just now learning to set them as an adult?