They go about their life normal--because they ARE normal!
Herpes is NOT a reportable disease for the CDC or state health departments. Why? Because so many people are already infected with it. Up to 80% of the people in the US currently test positive for HSV-1, 56% of teens do, and by age 50, fully 90% of the population tests positive.
It is NOT the critical, life-altering problem people like to make it out to be! With today's antiviral medications, cold sores AND genital herpes can be controlled and the meds also can reduce the transmission of the virus to others.
For example, you can reduce the chance of transmitting genital herpes to a partner to just 1% a YEAR by:
Taking antiviral meds
Him wearing a condom
Avoiding sex during an outbreak and for 3-5 days after.
You run more risk contracting HPV or another STD than herpes with that transmission rate!
There are couples who have been married for 15 years or more--and by simply avoiding sex during outbreaks have NEVER become infected themselves.
Chill. You're making this more important than it needs to be in your life.