This is not a question, this is like a sad excuse (or possibly a legitimate one) in order to prove to yourself that you love your god due to feelings you've had recently.
Trying to force your religion on others is rude, and though you may think it's right, (and it could be, I'm not saying it's not, though there are multiple theories that counteract it) it could be, and you have to take that into account because you don't want to belong to a group, like the group of people who thought the world was flat, that is shunned for being disbelievers.
Maybe, as an atheist, I am wrong too. What if we're BOTH wrong!? What if the Jews had it right all along? Or the tribes in Africa? We CAN'T know, and so just try to live life in peace and be the best YOU you can be! That's all life is about, philosophically.