Hi guys. I am a 15 year old girl who loves to write and read. I was wondering if someone could please please edit these two sections for me. They both from different scene so yeah. I have also given a little background on each part like what's happening so you have an idea what I'm talking about. I know it seems long but trust me its really not! Best answer receives 10 points! Thank you for anyone that answers the question in advice.
PART ONE: - Background on what's the hap: Is about her friend cancelling on her on a Friday night for a guy she met at a coffee, so she walking around the city looking at couples and this is her thought.
Everywhere I looked, I saw people together and with their friends. I was all alone - like a loser - without my "so-called" best friend. She ditched me for "some guy she met at a coffee shop." She knew that Friday's were "our" night, no matter what. I expected this to happen one day, but I didn't expect it to be this soon
PART TWO: background on what's the hap: A guy she once dated happen to bump into her in the clubs.
Suddenly, I felt a pair of hands on my waist, and jumped at the sensation. Turning quickly at a fast speed, my eyes locked with Colin, and there were no words that could sum up the intense wave of emotion that I felt as I looked at this man. His hands fell from my hips, and my hair bristled at the touch. I could feel the small hairs on my arms raised, despite the heat. I had felt his touch a thousand times before, and now I couldn't stand the reality- and just as soon as I felt him, he was gone, dancing off into the throng, smiling and touching a dozen other men and women in the same casually, yet oh-so-intimate fashion. "Bastard," I murmured.
His touch brought back all the great times we had had together, that until I caught him cheating on me at the back off our school gym with some skunky hoe who have been onto him since Junior year, I guess finally her wishes came true. He liked to project a bad-boy attitude, but underneath he was just an immature, lost soul who had no genuine feelings towards anyone expect himself. This time, I promised myself I wasn't going to let him get to me, but why was I feeling this way? Before I could finish my thought, I caught sight of Michael waving energetically, heading toward me.
PART ONE: - Background on what's the hap: Is about her friend cancelling on her on a Friday night for a guy she met at a coffee, so she walking around the city looking at couples and this is her thought.
Everywhere I looked, I saw people together and with their friends. I was all alone - like a loser - without my "so-called" best friend. She ditched me for "some guy she met at a coffee shop." She knew that Friday's were "our" night, no matter what. I expected this to happen one day, but I didn't expect it to be this soon
PART TWO: background on what's the hap: A guy she once dated happen to bump into her in the clubs.
Suddenly, I felt a pair of hands on my waist, and jumped at the sensation. Turning quickly at a fast speed, my eyes locked with Colin, and there were no words that could sum up the intense wave of emotion that I felt as I looked at this man. His hands fell from my hips, and my hair bristled at the touch. I could feel the small hairs on my arms raised, despite the heat. I had felt his touch a thousand times before, and now I couldn't stand the reality- and just as soon as I felt him, he was gone, dancing off into the throng, smiling and touching a dozen other men and women in the same casually, yet oh-so-intimate fashion. "Bastard," I murmured.
His touch brought back all the great times we had had together, that until I caught him cheating on me at the back off our school gym with some skunky hoe who have been onto him since Junior year, I guess finally her wishes came true. He liked to project a bad-boy attitude, but underneath he was just an immature, lost soul who had no genuine feelings towards anyone expect himself. This time, I promised myself I wasn't going to let him get to me, but why was I feeling this way? Before I could finish my thought, I caught sight of Michael waving energetically, heading toward me.
