KristyLane
New member
- Sep 11, 2009
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...my orientation when I wasnt "out".? I barely start to notice that I had a thing for girls when I was a freshman in highschool but near the middle of freshman year. Beginning of freshman year I had a boyfriend, and all of my friends knew about it. At that point I was very into boys, I never even thought about girls, or even realized if i was interested in girls or not, because I never really paid any attention to them. After two months into highschool, there was this girl who confessed her attraction towards me, and I felt like wth...what did I do to get her attention, am i sending her signals...because everytime she tried talking to me, I would ignore her, because i was doing my work. I'm sorry I think I am telling you my coming out story more than I am relating to the question...well anyhow so I ignored what she had told me and after a few months I watched two girls kiss on tv on americas next top model it just happened to show two girls kiss...and I was a little amazed, so i was confused about my sexuality, about soon after I my boyfriend at the moment and I got very distant I started to ignore him more, and I got a little disgusted by him, and so we ended shortly after. Then my girl friends started joking around and said "you left him because you realized you were gay", that wasnt exactly how we ended, but it was similiar, but after him I had another boyfriend, but I started to notice that boyfriends after boyfriends, none really interested me, I never wanted to do anything not even kiss my boyfriends, after a while it started feeling wrong, because during the time of having my second boyfriend, there was this girl who I thought was absolutely gorgeous and knowing that she was bisexual I started trying to go to her class, I know that might sound a little creepy, but then after me and her started talking and my interest was only focused on her, i forgot about guys, and slowly after i became single for a while, and stopped dating guys, near the summer before sophomore year. but then sophomore year began and it was the last year that she would be here, so i kept talking to her, but i was single, maybe because i still had doubt in my mind whether i liked girls or guys, i wouldnt considered myself bisexual because there was a moment when i would only be attracted to guys or to girls but now I am completely attracted to girls physically and mentally, anyhow when she graduated i felt something missing in me, and i told my gay guy friend that i think im gay and he introduced me to a girl and i realized after i hung out with her that it was right and i didnt mind going another step with her, so then we started going out and seeing each other and talking at school and then everyone saw and my girl friends confronted me saying that they knew since freshman year because i told them that i watched a shot at love...how does it specify that i am gay...it was just a show on mtv that i just happened to come across, and my other friends said that they could sense it...is there like a lesbian smell?