I'm 13 years old and I really want to be a fiction author when I get older. I just wrote a bit of random stuff that came to my mind. What do you think?:
The sky was dark and gloomy. I looked up and the moon stared at me, bright and big. The stars sparkled like they were dancing. I looked at my feet and told myself to stay focused. Breathe in and out, I thought.
I took a few steps closer to the shore, and the glittering water that awaited me. The sand splashed beneath my feet and it felt somewhat relaxing. Under the moonlight my skin looked pale white and beautiful.
I took one more step forward, then another. The water hit my feet, - it felt gorgeous, the sweet cool water at my toes - inviting me in.
I could suddenly feel someone watching me. Sometimes I just got that feeling. My eyes stayed glued to my feet. I knew better than to look at him. I knew it was him.
But, one could still be curious.
I dared a glance behind me and, sure enough, he was standing behind a palm tree close by. He had his arms crossed, his expression unreadable. His black hair hung in his face, covering his eyes and he was looking at the snow white sand.
I sighed quietly to myself and started to approach him. The sand was washing under my feet. I could see him better now. Before he was just a figure in the distance - but, I still knew it was him because of the posture - but now I could see he was wearing a hoodie with black jeans. He was leaning against the tree, arms still crossed, looking bored.
"Matt?" I said, but it was hardly above a whisper. "Mathew, please." He was still angry at me. I wondered if he would ever forgive me. If he was smart he probably wouldn't. But it didn't mean he had to ignore me. I knew that he knew I was there. He just wanted to show me how mad he was at me
I played in the sand with my foot while the silence grew longer. It was becoming unbearable, just not being about to hear his voice. I looked up at the sky again, but the stars didn't seem to be sparkling at me anymore and the moon was paying me no attention. I felt sad, rejected and isolated.
I had to try again - I had to reach out to him. "Mathew," I begged. I walked closer to him until my face was only inches from his. I breathed in his breathtaking scent. "Please." I touched his shoulder, just a simple gesture.
"Don't."
What do you think? Any ideas to help me improve?
The sky was dark and gloomy. I looked up and the moon stared at me, bright and big. The stars sparkled like they were dancing. I looked at my feet and told myself to stay focused. Breathe in and out, I thought.
I took a few steps closer to the shore, and the glittering water that awaited me. The sand splashed beneath my feet and it felt somewhat relaxing. Under the moonlight my skin looked pale white and beautiful.
I took one more step forward, then another. The water hit my feet, - it felt gorgeous, the sweet cool water at my toes - inviting me in.
I could suddenly feel someone watching me. Sometimes I just got that feeling. My eyes stayed glued to my feet. I knew better than to look at him. I knew it was him.
But, one could still be curious.
I dared a glance behind me and, sure enough, he was standing behind a palm tree close by. He had his arms crossed, his expression unreadable. His black hair hung in his face, covering his eyes and he was looking at the snow white sand.
I sighed quietly to myself and started to approach him. The sand was washing under my feet. I could see him better now. Before he was just a figure in the distance - but, I still knew it was him because of the posture - but now I could see he was wearing a hoodie with black jeans. He was leaning against the tree, arms still crossed, looking bored.
"Matt?" I said, but it was hardly above a whisper. "Mathew, please." He was still angry at me. I wondered if he would ever forgive me. If he was smart he probably wouldn't. But it didn't mean he had to ignore me. I knew that he knew I was there. He just wanted to show me how mad he was at me
I played in the sand with my foot while the silence grew longer. It was becoming unbearable, just not being about to hear his voice. I looked up at the sky again, but the stars didn't seem to be sparkling at me anymore and the moon was paying me no attention. I felt sad, rejected and isolated.
I had to try again - I had to reach out to him. "Mathew," I begged. I walked closer to him until my face was only inches from his. I breathed in his breathtaking scent. "Please." I touched his shoulder, just a simple gesture.
"Don't."
What do you think? Any ideas to help me improve?