Extreme public humiliation by my parents, I feel horrible. What should I do?

[profile]

My parents hate my bf of 3 years. I am 24 years old and I live overseas with my bf and go to medical school in the US. When my dad learned that i moved in with my bf, he started sending me and him constant insults and threats and made my whole family cut contact with me.

To make matters worse, my parents are blackmailing me. They have contacted two professors at my university and even the dean of medical school to tell them that my bf and I are immoral, he is manipulating me and cheating on me and that I am mentally unstable and should not be allowed to continue medical school.

Yesterday I found out that they made a facebook profile and added some of my friends that they had met before this drama plus random people from my med school class that they found online. Now they are threatening that if I do not break up with my bf, they will contact these people and tell them bad things about my bf and me (most of which are not true or exaggerated) including details about my personal life. Even though I have nothing to hide, I find this to be extremely humiliating that my parents are contacting my friends at 24 yrs old. They will also make me and my bf sound really bad in these e-mails by telling lies and stretching the truth.

I am extremely embarrassed. My profs and even the dean know about this and I wanted to ask these people for rec's when I would apply for residencies, now I do not know if they will write me one. My parents are also threatening me with suicide. My dad quit his work after he found out about me and my bf and he became completely crazy talking to himself and blaming my mom for raising me to be so immoral and corrupt.

I feel horrible and extremely embarrassed and humiliated. What can I do to redeem this situation?

 

[Unregistered]

Your parents sound like horrible, selfish people. In fact, they remind me of my own. I know its embarrassing but you just got to live through it. Explain the situation to as many people as you can. Maybe you should consider putting a little note up on your status or something. Tell them your parents are nutjobs. If they don’t believe you and are unsupportive, screw them, they probably aren't good friends anyway. As for your professors, I think you need to have a chat with them as well. Tell them what’s going on, they will probably understand because they are educated people and know the factors that can be involved, such as mental illness (on your parents part, not on your own) and cultural differences. As for dealing with your parents yourself, ignore them. Don't try to change their minds, its probably not going to happen and it will only fuel the fire. As for your father quitting his job, let him, if he wants to suicide its not your problem. The role of the parent is to support their child, not to force them to do things their way. What they do to themselves is their own issue, not yours. I have a similar mother and father and I've realized that trying to change them was just draining my own sanity. You have to take a step away from your parents and do this for yourself. You are making great choices! You want to be a doctor! You are a smart girl! Don’t let them convince you otherwise!

Just curious; I was just wondering why your parents are so against your boyfriend? Is this an issue of religion? You don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable.