Just some general feedback, like:
1) Do you feel it interesting (honestly), yes or no?
2) Plot development, too much or too little?
3) Character/Background information, too much or too little?
4)Feedback on writing style (includes imagery, sentence structure, etc.)
Under the beaming lights of the hallway, I take every step with caution. My knees remain angled to limit the contact between the soles my feet and the marble tiles. A quick glance over my shoulder emphasizes this is not an individual operation.
My partner, Agent Brixton advances with a controlled aggression. Her blonde hair is constrained in a refined braid which lightly brushes her neck with each step. For once I notice the slightest wrinkles developing on her forehead and under her eyes after years of accumulated stress. My eyes lower to the pistol she grasps with both hands just below her chest, with every reason to fire at the slightest disturbance.
This is my first level one assignment. Not much is known about the target. The case file I briefly skimmed over simply states we are locating a thirty six year old male by the name of Phillip Kirby with a picture for visual confirmation, as well as the location of his last known address. Level one threats are usually reserved for the highest priorities. The murderers. The psychopaths. The mentally deranged.
I gently glide the tips of fingers against the wall with my lead hand. My weapon of choice remains tightly clutched in my other hand. The gunblade. A clip point blade infused with a modified magnum revolver. Maybe today is the day I get to take a stab or fire off a round.
I feel Brixton’s hand momentarily resting on my shoulder, ordering me to stop. A light nod of her head redirects my eyes. Room 4024. Corresponding to the location listed in the case file.
Brixton moves in besides the door, resting her shoulder on the unembellished wallpaper of the apartment hallway. I follow her lead, positioning myself on the opposite side of the doorframe.
I briefly close my eyes, imagining what lies beyond this entrance. All the targets I have been assigned so far have been level three threats. Corrupt businessmen. People who couldn’t pay their bills. Harmless.
I open my eyes to see Brixton staring directly at me. She gives a quick nod before rotating her body and caving in the door with a swift kick.
“Don’t move!” commands Brixton.
I look over her shoulder to see Phillip Kirby, identical to his case file picture. He remains frozen over his suitcase with his arms extended, piles of paperwork scattered across his bed.
Brixton’s pistol remains aimed at the base of his skull. “He- He was just a boy,” stutters Kirby.
1) Do you feel it interesting (honestly), yes or no?
2) Plot development, too much or too little?
3) Character/Background information, too much or too little?
4)Feedback on writing style (includes imagery, sentence structure, etc.)
Under the beaming lights of the hallway, I take every step with caution. My knees remain angled to limit the contact between the soles my feet and the marble tiles. A quick glance over my shoulder emphasizes this is not an individual operation.
My partner, Agent Brixton advances with a controlled aggression. Her blonde hair is constrained in a refined braid which lightly brushes her neck with each step. For once I notice the slightest wrinkles developing on her forehead and under her eyes after years of accumulated stress. My eyes lower to the pistol she grasps with both hands just below her chest, with every reason to fire at the slightest disturbance.
This is my first level one assignment. Not much is known about the target. The case file I briefly skimmed over simply states we are locating a thirty six year old male by the name of Phillip Kirby with a picture for visual confirmation, as well as the location of his last known address. Level one threats are usually reserved for the highest priorities. The murderers. The psychopaths. The mentally deranged.
I gently glide the tips of fingers against the wall with my lead hand. My weapon of choice remains tightly clutched in my other hand. The gunblade. A clip point blade infused with a modified magnum revolver. Maybe today is the day I get to take a stab or fire off a round.
I feel Brixton’s hand momentarily resting on my shoulder, ordering me to stop. A light nod of her head redirects my eyes. Room 4024. Corresponding to the location listed in the case file.
Brixton moves in besides the door, resting her shoulder on the unembellished wallpaper of the apartment hallway. I follow her lead, positioning myself on the opposite side of the doorframe.
I briefly close my eyes, imagining what lies beyond this entrance. All the targets I have been assigned so far have been level three threats. Corrupt businessmen. People who couldn’t pay their bills. Harmless.
I open my eyes to see Brixton staring directly at me. She gives a quick nod before rotating her body and caving in the door with a swift kick.
“Don’t move!” commands Brixton.
I look over her shoulder to see Phillip Kirby, identical to his case file picture. He remains frozen over his suitcase with his arms extended, piles of paperwork scattered across his bed.
Brixton’s pistol remains aimed at the base of his skull. “He- He was just a boy,” stutters Kirby.