for those of you in long term relationships: do you argue regularly with your

[BlueEyedHomosexual]

significant other and how ......? .... escalated does it get?

How is ir resolved normally ... do married peeps just let it pass and stop talking for a bit then say sorry?

My Dad and my Mother threw stuff at each other but they both married their second partners 38 years ago and I haven't once seen them raise so much as their voices in any form of disagreement with their second spouses

So ... how do married peeps manage enormous disagreements if they get shouty and how does it pan out over the next few days?

 

[TrueBrit]

I can't imagine it is any different from any other sort of relationship. Every now and again we do argue (not regularly) but no, we don't throw stuff, or swear at each other, or hit each other. Yes, I might raise my voice (my husband doesn't, usually).
If I am really angry it takes me a while to get over it. Depending on the severity of the argument. I'm the one who usually backs down - I try to put it behind me. I used to be very hurt by his parents behaviour, now they are dead, life is much easier. That sounds awful, but it is true.
I am much more longsuffering - my husband thinks I am wonderful, apparently, and perfect.
Hm.
I know he's got faults but I try to make allowances.
We've been married for almost 22 years. It gets easier.

 

[UkitakeTaichou]

My girlfriend and I rarely argue but when we are angry at each other we take it out on each other every tuesday, thursday and saturday at karate training.

 

[CCR]

We rarely fight but when we do it's pretty bad (6-8 times a year). We're both name callers and blamers. It's upsetting to us both and we usually just avoid talking about it till one of says they're sorry a day later. It's never escalated to hitting.

 

[MabelB]

I am not in a relationship at the moment, and the arguments I had with boyfriends differred greatly from relationship to relationship. There was one where we hardly ever argued, but if we did it was kept to a civilised, calm debate. There was another where he would get into a flying rage where he would scream hysterically at me and then end up in a sobbing heap on the floor, and there was one who was impossible to have an air cleaaring argument with and whos favourite hobby was putting me down, and i would end up as a sobbing heap feeling like a worthless piece of crap.

 

[Mayhemdialsitdown]

It's been about 2 years since I've been in a serious relationship....I realized about the time I smacked her in the mouth, it was time to end it. Arguments had been becoming more intense AND more frequent - a lethal combo. I regret doing it, not so much for the small pain it caused her, but for losing self control for a minute.

 

[stellabella1]

I'm in a long term relationship currently. My only thoughts as to why it has been so successful thus far is because of how we fight.

We fight fair and have established rules for our arguments (no low blows, no bringing up the past, listen to the other person's views, no hitting, give space if needed, never mention divorce/breaking up, be honest, no yelling, no going to sleep angry).

During an argument, we try to talk normally and say 'honey' a lot. We try to make each other laugh after we've talked it out. Sometimes I discover that I'm not really angry with the other person, but angry and stressed about something else in my life. Relationships take a lot of work, but they're so worth it when you get it working just right.

Try reading, "The Love Dare." It really helped our relationship.

 

[KaitlinLara]

For me and my significant other (only together 3 years, and not married yet, but I still think that would be considered a long term relationship) we argue from time to time, and sometimes it does get quite escalated. Both of us grew up with mothers who had um...issues with expressing their anger properly So we both tend to sometimes get a little nasty with each other...taking cheap shots and maybe yelling from time to time. It is really funny though, because my boyfriend is literally twice my size (weight-wise) and I am a VERY sensitive person and the same thing ALWAYS happens when our fights get out of hand. I start to cry because I don't deal well with fights and I just hate them, and I am the most sad and pathetic looking little creature when I cry. When that happens, he completely softens and tries to comfort me, and we both realize what gentle people we really are deep down, and how much we admire that in each other. Our arguments never last more than a day, thanks to my overactive tear ducts and his overactive need to protect

 

[peeples19831]

We don't argue much. Maybe 3 arguments in 4 years. Occasionally we will have a bitchy day but I don't think water on the floor or toilet seats count as an argument. We don't argue because we have good communication and great sex.