Well if you read my last question i'm sure you are waiting with baited breath for the next instalment.
Well here's what happened last night...
Ok so after spending 2 hours sobbing into my microwave meal (fish pie - yes I see the irony) I smeared the mashed potato topping over my entire head as a cunning disguise.
Next, I used black gaffer tape to cover my nipples and the area between my now none existent legs.
Other than the mashed potato and the gaffer tape I was completely naked.
I packed a rucksack full of provisions: cocaine, a small wooden box containing 'keepers' (large flakes of skin to you) a photo of my cheating ex Stuart - a conger eel, and some pickles in case I got hungry later on.
I was finally ready to go. Now to get past those teenage yobs!
I had come up with a cunning plan - I sent my electric wheelchair down the lift on its own with a large pooh sat in the middle of the seat and a note beside it.
This would be my distraction and give me at least 10 minutes while the yobs figured out why the hell a wheelchair had come down the lift alone, with a pooh on the seat and a letter saying 'life is a cabaret'
Meanwhile I used the garbage shoot as my means of exciting the building. I landed with a thud, covered in rancid food but at least I was out.
Now I had the impossible task of trying to retrieve my beloved wheelchair from the yobs who were riding around the car park on it at full velocity having whale of a time.
to be continued.........
Well here's what happened last night...
Ok so after spending 2 hours sobbing into my microwave meal (fish pie - yes I see the irony) I smeared the mashed potato topping over my entire head as a cunning disguise.
Next, I used black gaffer tape to cover my nipples and the area between my now none existent legs.
Other than the mashed potato and the gaffer tape I was completely naked.
I packed a rucksack full of provisions: cocaine, a small wooden box containing 'keepers' (large flakes of skin to you) a photo of my cheating ex Stuart - a conger eel, and some pickles in case I got hungry later on.
I was finally ready to go. Now to get past those teenage yobs!
I had come up with a cunning plan - I sent my electric wheelchair down the lift on its own with a large pooh sat in the middle of the seat and a note beside it.
This would be my distraction and give me at least 10 minutes while the yobs figured out why the hell a wheelchair had come down the lift alone, with a pooh on the seat and a letter saying 'life is a cabaret'
Meanwhile I used the garbage shoot as my means of exciting the building. I landed with a thud, covered in rancid food but at least I was out.
Now I had the impossible task of trying to retrieve my beloved wheelchair from the yobs who were riding around the car park on it at full velocity having whale of a time.
to be continued.........