Funny Micheal Jackson Joke?

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tubulartweety

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when farrah fawcett died god told her she could grant one wish. she told god "I wish all the children in the world will be safe" god said ok. a little while later michael jackson died.

haha does anyone have any good jokes to share preferably long ones.
 
Michael Jackson's autopsy just came back with his cause of death as food poisoning. He died from eating 12 year old nuts.
 
I heard you get haunted when you make fun of the dead, but here goes.
2 fathers and two sons went fishing. Each of them caught a fish and put 'em in the bucket. In the bucket there were 3 fish, why?

One father is a grandfather, the second is a father, and then the first son is the grandson, second son is the second father.
 
it was ok
whenever you hear thunder its not from a storm nearby its from elvis presley beatin the s*** out of micheal jackson for marrying his daughter.
 
Ok so a guy walks into abar and says to the bartender, "sir i wanna make you a bet" i bet you 50$ i can bite my right eye" says the man. Now the bartenders thinking theres no way he can bite his eye! Sohe says "you got a deal" and slams down 50$. The guy takes out hs glass eye bites it, So the batenders like, Get outta here, so he walks out. in 20 minutes he walkes back in and says "i'll give you a chance to make back your money, No double your money, "i bet you 100$ i can bite my left eye, So the bartenders thinkin, there no way he has 2 glass eyes and slams down 100$ so the dude takes out his dentures bites his left eye. The bartenders like "get outta here! 1 hour later, he walks in drunk and says "ssir, i wwwana make you a bet" "I bet you 500$ i can pee in that shot glass wwwaay over there" The bartenders thinkin "he couldnt pee in a toliet if his life depended it" YOU GOTTA DEAL! So the guys pees everywhere, He pees on the counters the guy EVERYWHERE! So the bartender just stood there laughing! The guy gave him 500$ and walked out. So still laughing the bartender is cleaning the pee and see's a man crying in the corner. He walked over and the guy says "sniff sniff you see that drunk guy that just awlked outta here? The bartender smiles and says "ya" Well he bet me 2000$ he could pee all over you and you would just stand there laughing!"


The phone rings at FBI headquarters.
"Hello?"
"Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor Adrian Thibodeaux! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the FBI agents descend on Thibodeaux's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at Thibodeaux and leave.
The phone rings at Thibodeaux's house.
"Hey, Adrian! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep"
"Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."



I will edit my answer and post more later
 
lmao, my dad told me that:) I thought it was hilarious, he worded it differently though-

He said-

Farrah Faucett only had one wish before she died, and that was for all the children to be safe, a few hours pass and POOF M.J is dead. but he screamed poof really loudly it was so funny
 
ok that was one of those too soon jokes....


that was sick.


shut the **** up.



it was never proven anyway.
 
it took me about 10 minutes to figure that one out.

and yeah i think that is pathetically unfunny.
 
The Four Cats

four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,

the second man was an Accountant,

the third man was a Chemist, and

the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff.'

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,

'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.'

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.


Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Measure, do your stuff.'

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured

exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?'

The Government Employee called his cat and said, 'CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.'

CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet.......

ate the cookies........

drank the milk.......

sh*t on the paper.......

screwed the other three cats.......

claimed he injured his back while doing so.......

filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.......

put in for Workers Compensation...............and

went home for the rest of the day on sick leave............


AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE WANT'S TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!
 
Why did MJ go to Walmart?





He heard little boys pants was half off.
 
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