Girlfriend asked me about meeting my family?

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carlos

Member
I'm a 26y old guy that packed up and left home at 18y old. Haven't seen them since due to really horrible childhood and it's something i'd like to keep that way. Am even legally disconnected from them as far as inheritance goes.

My new girlfriend knows about this but is insisting about wanting to know them and keeps telling me to make peace with them. I know that if such a thing happens i will eventually resent her and dump her.

What should i do ?
She knows every detail of it, i've shown her scars and cigarette burns on my arms and chest.

@gio

I appreciate your comment but it isn't possible to reconnect with them. My family are my friends, no need for blood bonds.
 
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KnA1

New member
If you've told her about your rough childhood and what happened, I would take what she said into consideration. If you haven't told her everything yet, I'd wait for a bit, because she doesn't know all. And if eventually you do want to get in contact with them, take it slowly, because it's been so long. Doesn't sound like she's been through something similar otherwise I don't think she would be insisting on meeting them
 
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gio

Member
My friend, one thing I will tell you is you have found yourself a true woman. A good woman looks to unite rather than divide. The hardest things for us to do in life is always the best things for us and she is making sure you do just that. This is a woman that not only cares about you, but also everything is is connected to you. That's really deep, something that you should value rather than resent. Cherish her, love her, appreciate her, KEEP her! Lucky man you are....


I'm currently working on a community that people can all come together to share their dating experience, ask and answer questions. I would love for you to join my fan page on Facebook in order to stay posted with the progress of this project. Hope to see you there!

http://www.facebook.com/Gios.Dating.Advice

Hope I was able to help you.
 
S

Sharon

Member
Hi

I think what's going on with your girlfriend is that she wants to know that you see her as a long term prospect. When a guy sees his girlfriend as part of his future, then he usually introduces her to his family and friends. It's a sort of like you're saying here's the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with so I wanted to introduce her to you (your family).

Ask her if that's why she's pushing to meet them, if it is, and you're still not comfortable doing this, then explain that in as clear a way as you can to your girlfriend that your unwillingness to introduce her to your family is not about her but about your falling out with them. At the same time, if you do intend to keep her in your life for the long term, reassure her about this also. It may help to ease the pressure she's been putting on you.

Hope this helps

Best of luck.
 
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JudgeJulie

New member
Curiosity - my friend - just curiosity - Woman are just so sentimental about "family matters" - hers is probably great - and she will never understand your estrangement. Just make it clear that - as far as you are concerned you are an Orphan - and you like it like that. There is no practical reason for her to "meet" your folks except to prove that they are not as you think and that would undermine your decision - to not have contact. If she really loves you - she will accept your wishes in this matter.
 
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Marilyn

Member
obviously she thinks there is something to gain by this.
or maybe she wants to see your ethnicity?
this would not be a hugh issue if a girl was heads over heels in love with you.
tell her to back off.
 
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imaginarius92

New member
They aren't a part of your life anymore. Tell her that. Tell her that you don't really know how to contact them anyways. Physically nor Emotionally.
 
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Kelsey

Member
Tell her that. All girls are like this though, they all want to have that family meeting and become friends with their boyfriends mom and get a good sense of where he came from blah blah blah. But if you tell her it bothers you that you talk about it so much, you want to keep your distance from them, and you feel resentment to her when she keeps nagging at you to go see them. She'll back off, she might be a little hurt, but really its your family and your choice so tell her like it is. Don't be mean, but let her know. She'll understand.
 
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YounglSpirit

New member
I think it's nice what she's trying to do. But she also needs to understand that's something you've been dealing all your life and it hasn't been easy on you. Tell her you will make peace with your relatives when you're ready. So she needs to respect that and not bring it up again.
 
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Laura

Member
Tell your girlfriend everything you want to about your childhood. you dont have to tell her everything but try to tell her most of it so that she will understand. Tell her you dont really want to be connected with your family again and that introducing her wont make things better between you and your family. Tell your girlfriend that you love her and that she is all you need because she gives you love and respect. hope i could be some help
 
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BoredinVA

New member
She needs to respect your feelings and let it go. If she can't do that, let her go. You know in your heart what you want or don't want to do. You know what happened in your childhood. Tell her to stop bringing it up or you're going to have to move on.
 
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