JulisaWhite
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- Mar 14, 2011
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I asked this same question on the Mental Health section, just to get other opinions, but opinions here would also be appreciated, thanks..
So my boyfriend and I have been going out for about one year and 3 months now. The times we have had were amazing and the way he makes me feel is incredible. I want to marry him one day and share the rest of my life with him..
At the beginning of our relationship, everything was fine. Several months into it, however, we had a couple of major problems due to lack of proper communication and severe misunderstandings. We have had to deal with this lack of communication and these other variables because he goes to school in another state and in order to continue the relationship we had to do long-distance. A lot of the problems early in the relationship, were, in reality, his own fault. He has admitted to it, and apologized for them months ago, and I really know he is sorry. But during those problems I felt bad about myself. I know him well enough that he is not the type of person to do that, but subconsciously he made me feel that way..Other problems followed, but we were able to struggle through them. We have trust, he certainly respects me, he will defend me in any situation. He has told me that he wouldn't hesitate to give his life for me, and he's serious about it too. He loves me and I love him.
From those times that we had those problems early in the relationship, he has really grown and changed aspects about himself to avoid overreactions or small disputes that could escalate. He has tried so hard in these things and I couldn't be more appreciative for that. I, too, have blown up at several occasions at him, though (I'm not trying to come across as a saint, here)..At this point, I am severely sensitive though. He loves me, I know that. And lately he hasn't done anything to make me think he doesn't. But sometimes I feel like if he doesn't do something how I expect, like smile at something I show him, or if he doesn't hug me just the right way, I feel like something is missing. I know he loves me, deeply, and is not a bad person. He has made mistakes. I have made mistakes. But I know, deep down, that I am not allowing us to move forward together because of past problems. Its obvious that he has changed how he has acted and learned to come across in a better way as to how I'd like it.
Please help me. What can I do to get over what has happened in the past? He has never cheated on me or anything of that sort. It's just that he made me feel bad and not loved earlier. I didn't address that problem for a while, so that feeling stuck with me until I told him how I felt. I understand at this point that it was all unintentional on his part, too. When I told him how I made him feel, he practically crumbled in hate of himself because he did not know how he was coming across and didn't realize how he made me feel. He has changed, definitely. And he loves me. He would do anything for me. He's not perfect but it's like love is so strong for him. He knows I'm not perfect, and has problems with how I do stuff, but he has told me time and time again that doesn't matter to him because he is in love with me and would accept any faults about me. But I can't get over the past. My emotions are stuck there. My mind is stuck there. Every time there is a small problem I feel as if I'm going to get shot down when I shouldn't feel that way because he wouldn't do that now. What do I do? I love him so much and I don't want this insecurity about what happened in the past ruin the best thing that has ever happened in my life. How can I get over the past? I want to move on and be happy with this man.
I do not want this relationship to end, because I am truly in love with him, and I don't want anything to get in the way of this, so advice on how I can overcome our pasts and move on would be greatly appreciated.
Can somebody please help me? Thank you..
I am 20 years old and he is the same age, btw.
So my boyfriend and I have been going out for about one year and 3 months now. The times we have had were amazing and the way he makes me feel is incredible. I want to marry him one day and share the rest of my life with him..
At the beginning of our relationship, everything was fine. Several months into it, however, we had a couple of major problems due to lack of proper communication and severe misunderstandings. We have had to deal with this lack of communication and these other variables because he goes to school in another state and in order to continue the relationship we had to do long-distance. A lot of the problems early in the relationship, were, in reality, his own fault. He has admitted to it, and apologized for them months ago, and I really know he is sorry. But during those problems I felt bad about myself. I know him well enough that he is not the type of person to do that, but subconsciously he made me feel that way..Other problems followed, but we were able to struggle through them. We have trust, he certainly respects me, he will defend me in any situation. He has told me that he wouldn't hesitate to give his life for me, and he's serious about it too. He loves me and I love him.
From those times that we had those problems early in the relationship, he has really grown and changed aspects about himself to avoid overreactions or small disputes that could escalate. He has tried so hard in these things and I couldn't be more appreciative for that. I, too, have blown up at several occasions at him, though (I'm not trying to come across as a saint, here)..At this point, I am severely sensitive though. He loves me, I know that. And lately he hasn't done anything to make me think he doesn't. But sometimes I feel like if he doesn't do something how I expect, like smile at something I show him, or if he doesn't hug me just the right way, I feel like something is missing. I know he loves me, deeply, and is not a bad person. He has made mistakes. I have made mistakes. But I know, deep down, that I am not allowing us to move forward together because of past problems. Its obvious that he has changed how he has acted and learned to come across in a better way as to how I'd like it.
Please help me. What can I do to get over what has happened in the past? He has never cheated on me or anything of that sort. It's just that he made me feel bad and not loved earlier. I didn't address that problem for a while, so that feeling stuck with me until I told him how I felt. I understand at this point that it was all unintentional on his part, too. When I told him how I made him feel, he practically crumbled in hate of himself because he did not know how he was coming across and didn't realize how he made me feel. He has changed, definitely. And he loves me. He would do anything for me. He's not perfect but it's like love is so strong for him. He knows I'm not perfect, and has problems with how I do stuff, but he has told me time and time again that doesn't matter to him because he is in love with me and would accept any faults about me. But I can't get over the past. My emotions are stuck there. My mind is stuck there. Every time there is a small problem I feel as if I'm going to get shot down when I shouldn't feel that way because he wouldn't do that now. What do I do? I love him so much and I don't want this insecurity about what happened in the past ruin the best thing that has ever happened in my life. How can I get over the past? I want to move on and be happy with this man.
I do not want this relationship to end, because I am truly in love with him, and I don't want anything to get in the way of this, so advice on how I can overcome our pasts and move on would be greatly appreciated.
Can somebody please help me? Thank you..
I am 20 years old and he is the same age, btw.