DepressedGirl
New member
So I am an international student. I've been here for 5 years, and I mostly hang out with the people of my race. I do want to increase my social network to the native speakers, since it's a good chance for me to practice my English skill and learn to be more sociable and confident. However, I've always been struggling with this issue. When I hand out with people born here, I feel like there are so many differences between us in the way we think, talk, and express ourselves. No matter how much I try, I feel like I would never click with them and become friends. That's when I wanna give up the idea of mingling with the native speakers, and just stay in comfort zone by hanging out with the people in my community.
But then, now that I graduated from undergrad, I regret not making use of my time to explore and push myself to learn more about American culture and improve my social as well as English skill. I'm in professional school right now, and again, I encounter the same problem. The first days at school, I tried very hard to talk to other classmates. It was ok at the beginning until I ran out of things to talk, and everything became awkward. Recently, I'm stuttering more and more when I communicate in English, which even makes the situation worse. I'm also thinking of joining some professional fraternity at my school so I can make friends more easily. But then I feel intimidated by their members. They are all native speakers and super outgoing and confident. So far, I cannot really spot any ESL students similar to me in those organizations, which kinda hinders me from joining. I know it's a bad idea to look for people similar to my background as I would fall back to my comfort zone again, but then I'm afraid of being a loner and feeling left out.
My sister told me that I should give myself 6 months to get used to the new environment. She wants me to just join it, and observe how people are acting, listen to what they mostly talk about, and learn from it. Then the next time I hang out with similar group of people, I already have things in my mind to share with them as my problem right now is that I don't know what to talk about since I can't find any common things. If I still find myself not able to mingle after 6 months, then I can quit.
Are there any other international students out there who have been through the same experience? If yes, did you overcome it? and how did you do that? Can you guys give me some tips? I'm really tired of this, and don't want the same issue to haunt me for the rest of my life. I really think it's now time to change fear into power, and act to change my view about myself.
Thanks guys
I really appreciate your time !!!
But then, now that I graduated from undergrad, I regret not making use of my time to explore and push myself to learn more about American culture and improve my social as well as English skill. I'm in professional school right now, and again, I encounter the same problem. The first days at school, I tried very hard to talk to other classmates. It was ok at the beginning until I ran out of things to talk, and everything became awkward. Recently, I'm stuttering more and more when I communicate in English, which even makes the situation worse. I'm also thinking of joining some professional fraternity at my school so I can make friends more easily. But then I feel intimidated by their members. They are all native speakers and super outgoing and confident. So far, I cannot really spot any ESL students similar to me in those organizations, which kinda hinders me from joining. I know it's a bad idea to look for people similar to my background as I would fall back to my comfort zone again, but then I'm afraid of being a loner and feeling left out.
My sister told me that I should give myself 6 months to get used to the new environment. She wants me to just join it, and observe how people are acting, listen to what they mostly talk about, and learn from it. Then the next time I hang out with similar group of people, I already have things in my mind to share with them as my problem right now is that I don't know what to talk about since I can't find any common things. If I still find myself not able to mingle after 6 months, then I can quit.
Are there any other international students out there who have been through the same experience? If yes, did you overcome it? and how did you do that? Can you guys give me some tips? I'm really tired of this, and don't want the same issue to haunt me for the rest of my life. I really think it's now time to change fear into power, and act to change my view about myself.
Thanks guys
I really appreciate your time !!!