FrozenFlames
New member
Please tell me some constructive criticism and what you would rate this, thank you. 
It the ages of war there were two breeds of deadly creatures; dragons and phoenixes. The breeds were equally matched, both were capable of flight, were larger than the regular earth dwelling creatures and could each use the element of fire in combat. Dragons were able to breathe it and form giant fireballs from a click of their tongue. Phoenixes were shrouded in the blazing substance. Unable to control their powers, they singed everything they touched. The phoenixes’ nests were built in the tallest of trees so that nothing would attempt reach them. All that was left of the crowns of the trees were the charred branches that once were lush with foliage.
The dragons’ however lived high up in the mountains peaks and deep down in the pits of gorges where it was too dangerous for any to tread.
Wars between these creatures raged on and on for thousands of years, people started taking sides, they assisted in causing more catastrophes to the world. Until one teenage boy had finally had enough. He was determined to put a stop to the war once and for all; so he went to each of their homes and stole 2 eggs, one dragon and one phoenix. Not concerned about the dangers of doing so. When the eggs had hatched he raised them in an underground cavern far away from his village. If the town’s people knew about his parenting to these beasts they would’ve use them for asset in the war. So every day he would pretend to go off hunting but instead would deliver fresh livestock to his ‘children.’ When they had grown old enough he bred the two creatures together, the result was a super beast. This mix of dragon and phoenix had two blue legs covered in scales; it had a solid tail and two webbed wings. The structure of the wings was a darkish purple while the webs were translucent lilac scales. Finally, the head was engulfed in fire. It’s snout was smooth and slightly square at the tip. It’s eyes were coloured a faint purple.
It was this creature that then stopped the war. It created a huge orb of fire in the middle of the war ground; the light from this orb was extraordinary, even brighter than the sun’s rays. The light reached the heavens and snow fell down upon them. Both dragons and phoenixes then opened their eyes to what they were savagely committing.
That was the end of the war but also to the creature the boy had bred from beasts. The boy was then offered the place of king in recognition of what he’d done. It was from then on that all creatures lived in peace together.
It the ages of war there were two breeds of deadly creatures; dragons and phoenixes. The breeds were equally matched, both were capable of flight, were larger than the regular earth dwelling creatures and could each use the element of fire in combat. Dragons were able to breathe it and form giant fireballs from a click of their tongue. Phoenixes were shrouded in the blazing substance. Unable to control their powers, they singed everything they touched. The phoenixes’ nests were built in the tallest of trees so that nothing would attempt reach them. All that was left of the crowns of the trees were the charred branches that once were lush with foliage.
The dragons’ however lived high up in the mountains peaks and deep down in the pits of gorges where it was too dangerous for any to tread.
Wars between these creatures raged on and on for thousands of years, people started taking sides, they assisted in causing more catastrophes to the world. Until one teenage boy had finally had enough. He was determined to put a stop to the war once and for all; so he went to each of their homes and stole 2 eggs, one dragon and one phoenix. Not concerned about the dangers of doing so. When the eggs had hatched he raised them in an underground cavern far away from his village. If the town’s people knew about his parenting to these beasts they would’ve use them for asset in the war. So every day he would pretend to go off hunting but instead would deliver fresh livestock to his ‘children.’ When they had grown old enough he bred the two creatures together, the result was a super beast. This mix of dragon and phoenix had two blue legs covered in scales; it had a solid tail and two webbed wings. The structure of the wings was a darkish purple while the webs were translucent lilac scales. Finally, the head was engulfed in fire. It’s snout was smooth and slightly square at the tip. It’s eyes were coloured a faint purple.
It was this creature that then stopped the war. It created a huge orb of fire in the middle of the war ground; the light from this orb was extraordinary, even brighter than the sun’s rays. The light reached the heavens and snow fell down upon them. Both dragons and phoenixes then opened their eyes to what they were savagely committing.
That was the end of the war but also to the creature the boy had bred from beasts. The boy was then offered the place of king in recognition of what he’d done. It was from then on that all creatures lived in peace together.