How is my story going? I NEED feedback desperately!?

HappyBunny

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http://quizilla.teennick.com/stories/17570601/our-love-is-quite-the-taboo-a-studentteacher-love-story-introduction

There are currently 5 chapters up, feel free to read as many as you wish. I don't mind if you read all of them or just one, i would just like some feedback on my writing. It's a student/teacher love story. Before you get your panties in a twist, it's not all lusty and sexual, It's a legit story with a genuine plot and storyline. Even if you don't agree with the whole theme, please focus your opinion more on my writing. I'm a 13 year old girl by the way. I know there are a few spelling-grammar mistakes. If you want to point them out, feel free I'll try to fix them. Mainly though I wish to be evaluated on my writing style, how I can improve it, what I'm doing well, etc. If you have the time to do all these things, it is much appreciated. If not, just reading and rating one chapter really makes a difference. Thanks so much for reading ;)

P.S feel free to add to your favorites, if you have a quizilla!
Yeah I understand exactly what you mean about the photos. When i read stories, i always see picture of people, and it hurts the imagination process. The reason I put them up there was so the reader understood what I thought they looked like. I'm not sure if I should take them down or not. I'll keep them up for right now, but hopefully come to a decision soon. Thanks both of you for your feedback, it's much appreciated!
 
I think it sounds interesting! I read a little bit of the first chapter (sorry i didn't have time to read all...) I think you write well and it was interesting. I noticed one teeny tiny thing:

When talking, 5'4" should be spelled out: Five foot four. -OR- Five foot four inches. Either would work.

Good luck. I enjoyed the bit that i read, lol :)

ps! I'm 13 too! Lol, not that it matters!
 
Wow, you're only 13 and you write way better than me, i think its the start of a great story, i only hated how you first provided photos of them only because i kinda wanted to imagine them you know? :p
 
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