How is this first section of the first chapter of my Book? i know...there are LOTS

RichardL

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of mistakes...? The darkness overtook us; flashes of thunder shook the ground that we stood on. The wind was violent as it threw dust and debris at our skin. The Ezrian star had disappeared in the darkness and all that was visible was the remains of our home. The thunder shouted like evil and laughed upon us as it jolted into the ground of the earth. The rain poured down heavily, violently dancing with the winds fierce movements. It felt as though everything upon the earth was either laughing at us or crying with us. There were no more voices in the wind or the sound of neither birds chirping nor animals playing and singing with beautiful sounds of nature. But instead they lay scattered around the earth drenched in blood staring at the earth unable to live happily. Their eyes blank and lifeless and their bodies decaying and foul.
My hands were bleeding and weary from our journey and my eyes were dreary and red. It took my right hand and moved it through my dark brown hair, it was moist, and filthy. Never had I seen such a fierce cold summer night in my entire life. The lands were covered with a thin layer of white frost, and the rain was beginning to freeze. Our clothes were tarred and ripped in several places and smelt foul, we had numerous wounds through out our body and regret and grief deep within our hearts. The hills beyond us were massive and huge. Sadness over took my brother and I as we stared at the remains of our once beloved Kingdom. Just like the others there were no more brick roads, no more cheerful shouts to the king, no more happy summer nights but instead the sound of destruction, torture and pain. The air smelled like blood and death. Our kingdom was destroyed no one remained. We stared at what was left of our once beautiful life from the highest mountain in the valley that overlooked the kingdom. Our bodies were freezing from the cold summer night. My brother walked to the tip of the mountain barely able to move. He fell to his knees and wept and wept.
“Why!? Curse this horrible land!” he screamed at the top of his lungs echoing through the ruins of the kingdom. His cape blew away from his face and I saw his eyes and all his pain that he had gone through over the past 2 years. I walked toward him and put my hand on his shoulder. I bent down beside him and gave a moment of silence for the many loses. He pounded his fists to the ground and waved his hands in the air cursing the world and its creator. His fists bleed as he pounded them into the rigid solid pieces of dirt.
“Why must I live my brother…..just slay me now…get it over with so I do not have to wake up each day knowing what horrible things I have done…slay me with my sword for I am lost, a fool, but most of all a killer.” My brother wept. I put my arms around my younger brother; never had I met such a person who had faced so much in his life. He was weaker then I had ever seen him before, he looked nothing like the brother that I new before the tragedy. His hands were dripping with tears and his wounds bleeding.
“Its okay brother……we will make it through this.” I said to him. He quickly stared up at me and with his arm pushed me out of his grasp; he wobbly stood up and pointed directly at my worn and tired face.
“Its okay ITS OKAY!? Look what I have done Saris!! Look what I have done to my father……..all the lives I took…….the destruction I caused and…the women of my life….. my hands are that of a murderer……a sinner!!! Don’t you understand nothing will get better, I will die knowing that I could have prevented the death of so many lives!” he shouted. He fell back to his knees on the hard dirt surface.
“Why……why……” he wept. I sat there in silence hoping that something, just one thing would go right, that I was right about the decisions that I made. I wept with him as well and we both sang cries of distress though out the entire land of Ezra. I thought to my-self what had caused this? Was it I? Did I make bad decisions? Did Zahara really want this to happen? I began to think deeply, thinking of my brothers past, trying to go back, way back to when it all began.
 
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