How would you make a mixed religion marriage work?

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JLAKS

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I am a devout Christian and I have been dating a non-practicing Muslim for over a year now. Since he is non-practicing, the difference in religion has not really been an issue for us. But now we are much more serious, and we are starting to think about eventually getting married and starting a family. This is starting to scare me too, because he says that our children would be raised according to Islamic traditions, there would be strict discipline for bad behavior (ie. spaking), and our wedding will be a traditional Indian ceremony.

What is your opinion on this? Is it possible to find a balance between the two religions? Please don't give half educated or ignorant responses. I have been reading stories about Christian women who marry Muslim men, and they do not end happily! But I am determined to make this work!

(I should probably mention that my boyfriend was raised by a Christian woman and a Muslim man, but their marriage is totally disfunctinal and not a good example of what I would want my marriage to be like!)
 
Just act like normal people, jeez. My parents have a mixed religion marriage and they work out just fine.
 
I wouldnt do that but my husband is unsure so I go to church alone..I dont think you should go through with it...islam denies JESUS...MY husband isnt doing that.
 
I believe that as long as the strength of the relationship is the love and not the religion then yes. Of course you both should respect each others religions and that will create harmony but the love must overpower your differences.
 
From my experience (from being involved in a mixed marriage) is that the only problems came from outside sources. We get along great and celebrate both religions simultaneously. It is the "other people" that refuse to accept a blended relationship. Do not listen to the negative people that will always look for any excuse or reason why it cannot work. It can if you are positive, tolerant , open minded and intelligent. And of course in love
 
Your last paragraph probably describes the likely outcome of your relationship. He may be non-practicing but he obviously still is a believer and the ideas he accepts are important to him as yours are to you. He also most likely believes that as a man, all important decisions are his to make. If you can live with that there is a small chance a marriage will work but highly unlikely.
Better to part now, endure the heartbreak for awhile and let you both find more compatible partners than later.
 
Can interfaith marriages work? Well, yes. I have several friends in interfaith marriages. My other half is a different faith than I, but we come from very similar cultures. (We're both Nordic) For us it's not really an issue. The key is to reach an agreement on anything and everything BEFORE the marriage or any children are planned. If he's into spanking and you're not, one of you will have to give. If neither will, you cannot marry him and not expect your own marriage to go downhill if you want, and have, children. Or you could simply not have children if you don't want them beaten for discipline and he's determined to do this.

If he wants an Indian marriage and your faith requires you to have a church marriage - again, someone is going to have to give. If that means a merging of traditions to create your own or having two ceremonies is something the two of you will have to work out.

All relationships are a series of compromises that arise out of a combination of mutual love and respect and simple necessity. If you cannot reach an agreement before any legal marriage is even planned, then you will not reach one after the marriage. In such cases it's best to cut your losses, hold onto the good memories and move on. It will save both of you (and any potential children) a lot of grief.
 
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