husband doesn't want sex and threatens divorce at the drop of a hat - and we

K

kenken

New member
are newlyweds!? We are both 36, both first marriage, have been married 9 months, no children.

There are many small problems in the marriage and it seems that my husband not wanting sex is just the last straw for me. When we have an argument (both of us are calm when we argue, no angry voices, no name calling) he will always end up saying "Well if you think that way then let's just end it now! We are too different from each other and it isn't going to work."

So today, instead of telling him to stop being so dramatic and using the threat of divorce to manipulate me, I agreed that going our own separate ways is the only option we have.

He doesn't realise how serious I am about it. I have already organised people to help me move and I am actively sorting out my finances and other matters, but he thinks I am bluffing. I'm not. I have had enough. I have been trying to make changes for the future but he doesn't want to. When I ask him what he wants from me in the marriage he said that I should earn more money and fold his laundry.

I want our marriage to work, but at the same time I am not going to accept our marriage the way that it is now.
He refuses to go to couples counselling and he refuses to talk about it properly without the discussion ending in him sulking and calling for divorce.

Has anybody been through something similar and managed to salvage their marriage? Please tell me how.
I am going away for 2 months to give us both some space.
 
J

Julius

New member
I want our marriage to work but I'm so serious about divorcing him. Well...which is it? When you make up your mind, let me know, I'm dying of suspense. I do notice that there is a definite flavor of "all his fault" sprinkled liberally by you. It makes me wonder, are you as angelic and guilt free as you make yourself out to be...like every other female?
 
E

Edwin

Member
I think you made the right decision to give it some air for two months. I take it you have known each other for years before you actually got married? I doubt couples counseling will actually work. Seems to me he hasn't got clear for himself what he wants to put into the marriage and what he expects out of it.
 
P

PeggyS

Member
Either stay and stand your ground, or leave him. It is up to you. If you think you have done everything possible to save your marriage, but he has made no effort, then move on. Tell him that you are tired of wasting your life. Tell him that you need a man that is just as willing as you are to find a way to work the problems out, not one that threatens divorce every time there is a problem. Tell him that you are giving him a week to think about it. Tell him that if he does not participate in marriage counseling by then, it is over. Remind him of the deadline when it gets close, so that he realizes you are serious.
 
T

Tardacus

New member
"he said that I should earn more money and fold his laundry."

well at least he didnt add cooking to that list
but seriously it sounds like he wants a mother not a wife.
 
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