I am really different. I can be homophobic, repressive and often a text book case for human sexual psychology. I really don't know whats up with me. I want a girlfriend and women are sexy and attractive. I want to be with one. But I indulge in homo-eroticism. It's more than anal sex. I love the idea of men kissing each other and rubbing up and down and showing affection for each other. I also love c o c k I think it looks awesome and so for male anatomy. It's mysteriously arousing and I will not deny I find it hot. It makes my cognitive thinking act differently. I mean. If I think like that am I gay or bi. I really can't focus on women because I love the idea of overall gay feeling. I just don't know. I know there's more to being gay. I am expressing more than the sexual aspect of it. So what does this mean. I am so confused its sad. Its to a point where hetero-eroticism is not cutting it for me anymore. I think about homo stuff nearly all the time. for the record, i have been struggling with sexuality for 7 years. this last year has been intense on me. i just want it to settle down.