I messed up in my relationship, I want to make things right... what do I do?

[lindseylei]

So, about 5 months ago I posted on CL saying that I didnt feel satisfied w/ my bf and I got some emails and sent a few out and then I stopped. I didnt want to lose him, but I didnt delete the emails. I know I shouldnt have done it in the first place but I did. Anyways, couple weeks ago he found the emails, moved out and we broke up. We had been together 1yr 6 months and we love each other a lot. I made a mistake, and I even denied it at first which I know I shouldnt have done. BUT I told him the truth, I told my friends and family the truth and I want to work this out. He says he wants to try to work it out but doesnt know if he can trust me again. I never physically cheated on him nor was I planning to. I dont feel pretty and couldnt have ever done anything like that. He says he needs space, I have been trying to not contact him and havent for about 4 days now. I dont know how much time to give him, should I wait to contact him. He loves me a lot, Im his first love and now he doesnt feel attractive. He feels like he died when he saw the emails. I know deep down he loves me and I love him so much. We talked about getting married someday and I was going to finally meet the other part of his family this summer. I just dont know what to do. He says we need to work on ourselves right now. Says that I need to work on dealing with anger so I dont lash out so much. I know I need to work on that and not just for him but for myself. I feel like we are supposed to be together. Its hard to explain unless you know us, but I have this connection with him that I dont think I will ever find with anyone else. Dont ask me what I was thinking because I was so stupid for doing that. I just want a second chance to show him that I love him more then anything and that I want him to trust me again. I can hardly eat and I cant seem to get through the day with out feeling sick, sad, or start to cry. He's my other half, we basically acted like we were married and we had a pretty good life. Do I deserve a second chance? I know I messed up, but I love him and Im willing to fight for him. He says he wont date anyone while we are trying to work things out, and doesnt know if he ever can date anyone again. It makes me so sad that I hurt him, thats wasnt my intentions. I dont know what my intentions were but I know that he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. He is the only person that matters.