Lotsofquestions1
New member
- Sep 5, 2008
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My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. His mom has not accepted me "yet". She has never even met me, apparently it has nothing to do with me, she is just caught up with the fact she is worried about her only grandchild not being apart of her life if my boyfriend doesn't work it out with his ex. After 2 years and clearly no way of working out their relationship...my boyfriend just keeps saying she will eventually accept "us". This leaves for many holidays I'm left waiting for him to finish with his "family" before we can do our thing. Not to mention a bitterness and hurt feeling I have in my heart. He says he sticks up for us, but how am I to know if I'm not there. My family feels he should do more, like refusing to join the family table himself if his feelings aren't accepted. What's worse is his ex is not only accepted still but lives with his mom while she gets her life stabalized. It's not an ugly situation by any means since their break was no ugly nor do her and I have any hard feelings. She has no issue with us, nor does she have any part in his mom's feelings. And she does not have a desire to work it out...anymore. So in no way does this problem have anything to do with his ex. I hate to ask him to make a choice and I know I never will ask him to...but wish he would make that decision on his own. How do I get him to make a move without causing problems between us? Yet, I am weak when it comes to his son, he is little still so whenever it's a holiday or just for dinner and his mom wants to spend time with her grandson I always say GO, I will never say no, it's not his fault and I would never take the time between them away. I feel enough is enough though when it comes to our relationship not being respected and he is only showing his mom her behavior is acceptable...not to mention I haven't met anyone else in the family either because of it...WE LIVE 8 MINUTES AWAY! Keep in mind, I have done nothing but wait patiently and try to remain respectful of who she is regardless of not receiving the same respect in return! I am 37 and he is a couple years younger so we are grown adults...and I have never been in a position with a boyfriend or a friend for that matter where I wasn't accepted by the family so this is new to me and I don't know how to handle. However, I was always raised to respect and family is always more important then anyone, but my parents have always respected me and my feelings and not ruled over me as a dictatorship. Him and I want to move to the next level of our relationship but I feel like this is a HUGE issue even if he thinks it's something that will blow over. I personally feel offended he can even face his mom without animosity but I am the outsider still wondering why I'm being punished. Do I walk and not deal with this drama? Because this man is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with....sadly, I'm not sure I even want to meet her anymore...but family is important so it's going to be necessary..but more importantly I just want to be respected for who I am in his life...and her grandson's at this point. HELP! Am I making this into more then what I should?