I apologize for the length, I'm just at a weird place right now. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Me and this girl have been best friends for nearly 4 years now. I mean beyond best friends, we talked every single day for the past 4 years, spent countless hours every night just talking, and in the morning she was waking me up. Even when she studied abroad on the other side of the world, she racked up thousands of $ calling me every day. Were obviously crazy about each other, I want to date and she says she does to but not until she is ready for a serious relationship. She is worried she'll **** it up if she dates me now. I understood this so I do my own thing and I let her do hers. and though we weren't dating if someone either of us was hooking up with didn't like either me or her they were dumped. we was the closest friend I have ever had. This past summer she started dating a guy that had liked her for a little while. hes a complete loser, took steroids, sells drugs. just a complete douch bag. When they started dating i freaked out a lil. she asked me to be patient, and not blow it out of proportion. I chilled out and let her do her own thing, i figured she was just using him for coke or something, she did like to use drugs from time to time. They had fought on and off for months, he was always so controlling she want able to break away even if she wanted to. He would perform insane acts such as tearing heads off stuffed animals, and threatening to drive his car off bridges with the two of them in it. These aren't empty threats, he has a crappy background. His mom is dieing of cancer, throughout his life he was abused by his step father, and supposedly failed at a suicide attempt a few years back. there fights had led her to constantly run away from him, and always ran straight to me. i was her best friend, her fall back. i have always been there to support her when she needed it. she came to me one night crying and we just sat and talked, i suggested we have some drinks and 3 bottles of wine later we had sex. this isn't a usual thing for us, but neither of us considered it a big deal. recently he found out that we had hooked up. he went psychotic and the police had to be called her her house to remove him. she decided it was time to end the relationship. for a week while home during thanksgiving we started hanging out alot, and the hooking up became pretty frequent. We both wanted to take this somewhere. upon returning to school last week she came back with the intention of ending her relationship with him for good, it would be all over. I was relieved because i always saw him as trouble for her. last Monday she stopped all communication with me. when i asked her why she said because he wont allow us to be friends anymore. I've spent the past week being ignored by her, and without any explanation as to why she is now following what he is telling her to do. Today we talked for the first time in a week. She said that when she is home from school with me we are amazing together, but up here at school she can not be seen with me. He stalks and controls her life, and has said she must now cut off all relations with me or she'll lose him. as a result of this her roomates, friends, family, everyone has stopped talking to her. no one likes him. Her and I are no longer friends because she is too crazy to ditch this guy for good. I am now devastated because I brought myself to the point that I cared about her so much, all i wanted was to be her boyfriend. Why would she chose a short lived, frustrating boyfriend over one of her best friends? Should I have been doing something to prevent this from happening? What would you recommend I do now?
Me and this girl have been best friends for nearly 4 years now. I mean beyond best friends, we talked every single day for the past 4 years, spent countless hours every night just talking, and in the morning she was waking me up. Even when she studied abroad on the other side of the world, she racked up thousands of $ calling me every day. Were obviously crazy about each other, I want to date and she says she does to but not until she is ready for a serious relationship. She is worried she'll **** it up if she dates me now. I understood this so I do my own thing and I let her do hers. and though we weren't dating if someone either of us was hooking up with didn't like either me or her they were dumped. we was the closest friend I have ever had. This past summer she started dating a guy that had liked her for a little while. hes a complete loser, took steroids, sells drugs. just a complete douch bag. When they started dating i freaked out a lil. she asked me to be patient, and not blow it out of proportion. I chilled out and let her do her own thing, i figured she was just using him for coke or something, she did like to use drugs from time to time. They had fought on and off for months, he was always so controlling she want able to break away even if she wanted to. He would perform insane acts such as tearing heads off stuffed animals, and threatening to drive his car off bridges with the two of them in it. These aren't empty threats, he has a crappy background. His mom is dieing of cancer, throughout his life he was abused by his step father, and supposedly failed at a suicide attempt a few years back. there fights had led her to constantly run away from him, and always ran straight to me. i was her best friend, her fall back. i have always been there to support her when she needed it. she came to me one night crying and we just sat and talked, i suggested we have some drinks and 3 bottles of wine later we had sex. this isn't a usual thing for us, but neither of us considered it a big deal. recently he found out that we had hooked up. he went psychotic and the police had to be called her her house to remove him. she decided it was time to end the relationship. for a week while home during thanksgiving we started hanging out alot, and the hooking up became pretty frequent. We both wanted to take this somewhere. upon returning to school last week she came back with the intention of ending her relationship with him for good, it would be all over. I was relieved because i always saw him as trouble for her. last Monday she stopped all communication with me. when i asked her why she said because he wont allow us to be friends anymore. I've spent the past week being ignored by her, and without any explanation as to why she is now following what he is telling her to do. Today we talked for the first time in a week. She said that when she is home from school with me we are amazing together, but up here at school she can not be seen with me. He stalks and controls her life, and has said she must now cut off all relations with me or she'll lose him. as a result of this her roomates, friends, family, everyone has stopped talking to her. no one likes him. Her and I are no longer friends because she is too crazy to ditch this guy for good. I am now devastated because I brought myself to the point that I cared about her so much, all i wanted was to be her boyfriend. Why would she chose a short lived, frustrating boyfriend over one of her best friends? Should I have been doing something to prevent this from happening? What would you recommend I do now?