Is it verbal abuse if I argue with my girlfriend of always

[M360]

procrastinating about her priorities? She goes on Facebook till 1am all the way to 4am in the morning. Facebook is ruining her chance in making her financial situation better. When she is asking me for help on how to do things I give her solutions, but then she turns them down. Then she complains again to me that she never has time. What should I do? I love her, but it's going to be a year being with her in October. She failed 2 out of 3 classes in the Fall 2010. She failed 2 out of 2 classes in the Spring 2011. She is in Academic Probation. She is taking 4 classes this Fall 2011 and she is still in this unnerved state of pure madness. She is repeating her bad study habits again. It a vicious cycle. The definition of insanity. To make it worse she still has that high school mentality that "school"; now let me rephrase "school". She thinks college is just about meeting new people and partying. Yeah that's cool, but what the hell is the point of driving to college failing your classes, and watch everyone progress but yourself. I feel like I'm ranting over a dead horse. Why am I still caring for her future, if she is not doing anything to help herself progress.

 

[brenda]

sounds like she is a bit childish..you can only do so much into trying to make her a more successful person. but in the end its up to her if she wants to succeed in life. She will eventually figure it out but she will have to learn the hardway...your doing good by pushing her into the righjt direction...follow your heart love.

 

[Ayomiposi]

Firstly, its not verbal abuse and if she is not ready to grow up and start taking responsibility she doesn't deserve someone who does. She is gonna end up depending on other people for things and she is gonna drive u insane. get out of it while u still can

 

[Rose]

Arguing isn't verbal abuse, which would be insulting her which isn't what you're doing. If she want's to fail, who cares if she does? I'd say break up with her, she's not gonna be a good gf in the future and her priorities are really dumb...

 

[Crake]

Arguing isn't verbal abuse, no. Verbal abuse means saying hurtful things, using intimidation or threats, things like that.

I don't think you're going to be able to change her. I can understand your frustration. She sort of reminds me of myself...I'm a college drop out. My advice is the same as I would give if she were a drug addict: let her hit rock bottom. She will only change when *she* wants it, and no external force can make her do otherwise until then. Like a drug addict preparing for rehab, she will only see the error of her ways and take her life seriously once she has to experience the consequences that come with those ways.

I guess for her, rock bottom is being kicked out of school and having to work a job that she doesn't like for an amount of money that can barely pay rent. Whether you want to stay with her during this is your own decision...in fact, losing you is probably part of what will make her take a more positive direction once it all falls apart.

 

[gordon]

That isn't verbal abuse.

 

[ryoujika]

That will depend with how you'll convince her to go back to studying. "If you were on her shoes, what's the best way to do?" Do not just rant over her, help her and think of other ways.