Is there a disorder that is similar to borderline personality disorder, but not as

[retenbrink]

harsh? I was diagnosed when I was 14, and I recently found out that is not recommended until the patient reaches adulthood. I fit a lot of the "symptoms" in the dsm-4, but mostly just the emotionally needy ones. I always feel judged by friends and family. To the point where I'm now pretty much completely isolated from everyone. I am married and have four kids. Two still live at home. The other two have reached adulthood and found their wings. I feel like my husband isn't emotionally available to me. He is an extremely negative nelly. But I had a strong bond with him in the past. That is now gone. My children and I are really close. I have never abused them. Though the criteria for bpd involves being a downright horrible bitch of a mother. I am compliant to laws. I have strong moral values. I am very faithful to my personal integrity. I don't cheat, and the only lies I've told have been to spare someone's feelings. Being super emotional hills me be a good friend. I am a great listener, and I've been told I really get what they're trying to convey. I of course am inevitably disappointed that when I ask for help (extremely rare) , and there is no one available to e as a friend. I have been overly critical of my husband for lacking the values the I possess. For not being as smart as he has the capability to be. I ask because If I'm borderline, then I want all the evil traits to go with my vulnerabilities. I'm exhausted by my own needs. I'm leaving my husband tomorrow because I am so tired of trying to explain myself to him. He is verbally abusive. Name calling, accusations, putdowns. He has destroyed all my clothes because " he bought them". same for the two computers I had, he claims he's jealous of my time on the computer. I wouldn't be on so much if he were around. I know this is long, but tomorrow I move into a new life. I just dont completely identify with bpd. There has to be something else. He even told me that since he's the only one that says nice things to me and compliments me,?that my self esteem is his. I can only show that to him. I love my husband, he can at times be the sweetest guy. But I only have this disorder with him. My friends don't see it. Because I keep my insecurity in check with the outside world. My husband bears the wounds that i inflict. I have a retaliate or die mentality. Like im comprised some way if i just take his cap. But important capable of very hurtful words. Important rambling. Its late. I thank in advance any usefull advice. I appreciate the time you gave up to read this.