next (very long lol)? Sorry if it’s not very good, I’m only 13 and I’ve never really written a story before except for schoolwork and I always get really bad marks. But I love writing and want to improve
Plot ( i think it would be aimed at like teens) -
In the future, Earth is in the midst of a worldwide war. An army of cloned humans incapable of human emotion has been created so they can kill mercilessly, when one is found to be showing human feelings they are ‘shut down’.
When 16 yr old Evangeline’s (nicknamed Evan) family is killed by the army she vows to find information and stop the conflict. ‘Evan’ starts to make her way through the war torn country towards the capital city where she hopes she can find information about the clones, their master and their purpose.
She teams up with a younger boy (age 12 or some other companion...let’s call them Alfie for now) from her village whose family was also murdered.
One day when stopped for the night they hear a sound and a man comes out of the bushes. He is badly injured.
Evan approaches him and bandages him up. The next morning they offer for him to travel with them. That night Evan notices something odd on the man’s arm, a symbol etched into his flesh. It looks vaguely familiar but she ignores it.
A few days later they are attacked by a group of clones that have been separated from there regiment, Evan instantly recognises the tattoo on the man’s arm.
In the attack Evans companion is badly injured. Evan attempts to defend him but is also injured, but not as badly, she gets ready to be killed but is saved by the man with the tattoo.
They find a place to shelter for the night and Alfies condition worsens, he is heavily bleeding and weak. Evan takes the odd man outside and demands to know his name, who he is and what he wants with them.
He says his name is J4_865.
He was part of a regiment of clone soldiers, at the attacks on the village he had seen a dying child and gone to help them, his captain noticed and with order his fellows attacked him, gravely injuring him and leaving him for dead, but somehow he survived. He explains that the soldiers are clones, their minds swept blank, only the basics thought processes remain, the only emotion they express is anger, any other and you are deemed defective and killed.
After all attempts to save Alfie fail he eventually dies, on his deathbed he begs Evan to go on without him. Evan is devastated and J4 comforts her (eventually he’s known as Jay). They continue with their journey.
Then I don’t know what should happen, I guess they should fall in love and make it to the capital, where maybe the president could be a clone too. Maybe something should happen to make her think J was tricking her and he is still evil and they have a fight...idk, so any ideas? And is what I have so far good?
Thanks
Plot ( i think it would be aimed at like teens) -
In the future, Earth is in the midst of a worldwide war. An army of cloned humans incapable of human emotion has been created so they can kill mercilessly, when one is found to be showing human feelings they are ‘shut down’.
When 16 yr old Evangeline’s (nicknamed Evan) family is killed by the army she vows to find information and stop the conflict. ‘Evan’ starts to make her way through the war torn country towards the capital city where she hopes she can find information about the clones, their master and their purpose.
She teams up with a younger boy (age 12 or some other companion...let’s call them Alfie for now) from her village whose family was also murdered.
One day when stopped for the night they hear a sound and a man comes out of the bushes. He is badly injured.
Evan approaches him and bandages him up. The next morning they offer for him to travel with them. That night Evan notices something odd on the man’s arm, a symbol etched into his flesh. It looks vaguely familiar but she ignores it.
A few days later they are attacked by a group of clones that have been separated from there regiment, Evan instantly recognises the tattoo on the man’s arm.
In the attack Evans companion is badly injured. Evan attempts to defend him but is also injured, but not as badly, she gets ready to be killed but is saved by the man with the tattoo.
They find a place to shelter for the night and Alfies condition worsens, he is heavily bleeding and weak. Evan takes the odd man outside and demands to know his name, who he is and what he wants with them.
He says his name is J4_865.
He was part of a regiment of clone soldiers, at the attacks on the village he had seen a dying child and gone to help them, his captain noticed and with order his fellows attacked him, gravely injuring him and leaving him for dead, but somehow he survived. He explains that the soldiers are clones, their minds swept blank, only the basics thought processes remain, the only emotion they express is anger, any other and you are deemed defective and killed.
After all attempts to save Alfie fail he eventually dies, on his deathbed he begs Evan to go on without him. Evan is devastated and J4 comforts her (eventually he’s known as Jay). They continue with their journey.
Then I don’t know what should happen, I guess they should fall in love and make it to the capital, where maybe the president could be a clone too. Maybe something should happen to make her think J was tricking her and he is still evil and they have a fight...idk, so any ideas? And is what I have so far good?
Thanks