Is this a good introduction for a 5 paragraph essay?

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Selina

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This is just an example, but is this how an introduction should look like?


Many people have been debating whether gay marriage should be legal or not. The bible states, " a marriage is between a man and a woman". However, the government shouldn't tell people who to marry because it's discriminating, unfair, *and cruel.*


Does this have a hook, thesis, and everything an intro should have? Is it organized good?
 
The quote should be the first sentence, which would make it a good hook. It is missing a thesis, the sentence that clearly states the purpose of the essay. The last sentence could be a thesis if you made it "The government should not tell people who to marry." or something along those lines. The "however" kind of prevents it from being a thesis. A few focus points would strengthen the introduction (though not always necessary,) as well as some more background information. It should be organized as Hook-Background Info-Focus Points-Thesis. Hope I helped.
 
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