Is this a good introduction for a 5 paragraph essay?

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Selina

Member
This is just an example, but is this how an introduction should look like?


Many people have been debating whether gay marriage should be legal or not. The bible states, " a marriage is between a man and a woman". However, the government shouldn't tell people who to marry because it's discriminating, unfair, *and cruel.*


Does this have a hook, thesis, and everything an intro should have? Is it organized good?
 
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NicholasmmmBuno

New member
The quote should be the first sentence, which would make it a good hook. It is missing a thesis, the sentence that clearly states the purpose of the essay. The last sentence could be a thesis if you made it "The government should not tell people who to marry." or something along those lines. The "however" kind of prevents it from being a thesis. A few focus points would strengthen the introduction (though not always necessary,) as well as some more background information. It should be organized as Hook-Background Info-Focus Points-Thesis. Hope I helped.
 
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